A Year With Williams

Chapter 11

Dedicated to flluffy2001 for literally forcing me to write and publish this.
It's because of her that I updated and I love her for telling me to and giving me views about this.
And to PriyankaTalwar because she helped me and she is amazing but she doesn't know it yet.
DAY 105

You know what is the saddest part of living?

Letting go.

Somewhere inside us we would always know that what we have now isn't permanent. There would be one day when we would have to pack our bags and say goodbye to it. Be it our parents, high school friends, college friends or anyone we are attached to.

And despite that, we are attached to people on levels.

Basic levels are the just-friends levels. Where the person and you might not be really attached but turn to each other when in need.

And advanced levels like best friends or lovers or brothers, sisters or parents.

At one point of time we have to leave things behind and after getting married (if it actually lasts and love doesn't vanish), it's death that parts two hearts.

But

Somewhere inside you when you leave or when someone leaves you; you know that you would never be able to listen to the same song again without going back on time and thinking about those memories. You know that the days you spend happy will come back to you in flash-backs.

But most of all you know that you would never be able to have the same time, same talks and same happy time the same way ever again.

And it brakes you. It hurts you to accept that someone so close would turn into nothing.

And it hurts you even more if you realize that you would turn into nothing for the person who probably matters a lot.

Then all songs become sad, all memories bitter, all music takes you back to time when you were happy and you want nothing more than to go back in time and live it again.

I can't hear the same kind of music, it makes me cry. I am dying to have my old times bad.

And that makes me want to shrink, hide or just be alone with my thoughts.

I do want to open up but I don't know if people would understand me.

And what scares me more is that no one would accept me because of my past.I have been pressing this all down since a real long time. So now when in the school, Gabriella gives me hell, tries to walk over me... I let her.

I know it's wrong and I should stand up for myself.

But I don't. Not because I am scared but because I am on the verge of either breaking down or erupting like a volcano and trust me, both are equally bad.

I despise people like her. She is going on saying things about me which aren't even true and it makes me want to shout the reality out.

It hurts me when she asks Katie how is she friends with me. She makes me want to grab people and ask them how can they believe her and grab her minions that nod their heads and gossip about whatever she says and ask them what is so cool in that?

What makes it more difficult?

The songs they play in class. All of them have a reference to him.

And Megan doesn't want to listen to Taylor Swift when she is the only one that makes me happy.

And this all lead to me crying today.

Which led the school counsellor to call me.

Which led to the current situation.

"So what is it that bothers you?" She asks me.

I don't know what to tell her.

"Umm, I hate Max." I blurt out.

Even though it's not exactly him, he is a part of it so that's true, I do hate him.

"And why is that so?"

"I don't know, maybe because he is Satan's incarnation."

She laughs.

I honestly don't know what to tell her and after half an hour of questions and consolations, I was free to go.

I did tell her things but not all. I told her about my family issues, I just couldn't have told her the reality.

I didn't mention him. I didn't give much away.

But I know I need to let this out.

So At the end of the day, now that we are departing for home I hug Katie and whisper,"I am gonna tell you, everything but please don't leave me."

She hugs me back and says,"I won't."

And with that the rain started pouring down and I hope it just cleans me enough to survive.
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A/N this chapter sucks I'll edit it later. I am not well. But i wanted to update. I'll write and edit it properly when my head starts working.