My Sun, My Drug, My Mate [ON HOLD]

CHAPTER XIX

Hecate's POV

I sigh deeply as I enter the other room, all these thoughts running through my mind. I know I'm supposed to hate men. I always have, and I always thought I would. The fact that they have a cage in their basement doesn't exactly help me feel any safer.

But whenever I think of Maximilian, all of my worry seems to dissolve. I feel my heart warm up at the only thought of being near him. I already admitted to myself that I have feelings for him, it's just hard for me to accept it.

What if I wake up one day and realise that he's not what I want? I might go back to liking girls for all I know.

'If you still liked girls you would have reacted differently when Kimberly stripped naked in front of you.' Night reminds me, and I can't help but agree with her.

What if, one day, I don't want to be with him anymore? What if he doesn't want to be with me anymore? It's entirely possible, seeing how I've treated him so far. I've disobeyed him more times than I can count, and he must be furious at me. What if he suddenly realises I'm not worth the trouble? I shake my head lightly. If Maximilian finds out just how broken I am, he definitely won't want me anymore.

'Is that what you're really afraid about? That he'll wake up one day and abandon you?' Night chimes in. Her soft voice sounds worried and sad, almost as if she pities me.

Why shouldn't he? Everyone else in my life has.

'I'm sorry, Cate, I truly am. But if everyone else has run away, let Maximilian be the first one that won't.'

Her words ring over and over in my head. They sound true to my heart, but my head is just too stubborn to believe them.

Look, Night, I don't want your pity. I'm too messed up to have any kind of use for anyone's pity, actually.

'I didn't mean—'

Yes you did, Night. Everyone has always felt sorry for me, so please stop. I can't have you feeling sorry for me too. I say to her, my tone softening as I speak. I can't feel sorry for myself, I can never feel sorry for myself. I used to, and I can't go back to that kind of misery.

Night stays quiet for a while, before replying. 'I understand. But, Cate?' She asks.

Yes?

'Pity doesn't have to be a bad thing. Pity is followed by help, and help from others can make you stronger. You should let someone help you.'

I ponder her words, and it takes me a while to reply. Maybe, one day, I will.

I sigh deeply and enter the living room, heading over to the big and comfortable-looking couch. Today has been... stressful, new, exciting. There are so many words to describe it—

Someone grabs me from behind, and a squeal of surprise escapes my lips. I feel him pick me up effortlessly and sling me over his shoulder, putting a solid arm around my legs.

My immediate reaction is to start throwing punches on his back, but then his scent hits me. Somehow, I know its Maximilian's.

"Let me go!" I shout, but he doesn't listen. He just keeps walking, taking me up the stairs and into the bedroom.

"Let me go, Max! Right now!" I repeat, punching his back to get my point across.

"Why? I have such a lovely view." He replies, seemingly without a care in the world. I blush furiously, and am more determined than ever to get him to let me go.