Alone

Chapter 24

A furious roar filled the room after the doors blew open to reveal my mother. She bared her teeth furiously at Lexa and rushed over to my side where I sat crumpled on the floor before Lexa's feet. She ran her hands all over my arms and pushed my body into her arms, she ran her fingers through my tatty hair in an attempt to calm down my cries but nothing could help me now.

"Why have you done this Lexa!?"

My mother screamed at the commander as she held my shaking body in her arms. Anya's eyes flickered over the room quickly before resting back on Lexa's form furiously.

"I have done what I had to do, general."

Lexa coldly said as she gazed on impassively from her high throne.

"My daughter has done no wrong!"

Anya hissed out quickly in reply to Lexa's harshly uncaring words while Lexa simply raised herself from her throne and began to walk towards the door without a single glance in my direction.

"My word is final. This shall not be discussed again unless you too want to be banished, Anya. For it was you who slept with the prince."

Anya recoiled from her words and visibly flinched against my side as the heavy doors slammed shut on my future. We sat together for a long time, simply soaking up each other's presence before life could catch up to us and we would once again be stripped from each other's arms and lives again. Mother collapsed against my side after a while, allowing me to be the strong one when my whimpers finally subsided. I held my mother and I let her cry without shredding any tears. My mother didn't cry in the way I do or anyone else does. She simply states off into the distance and shakes, this is the only time she is ever truly vulnerable. I scanned the room for threats, be they visible or invisible as my mother let out her emotions by my side. After a while I reached out a tentative hand and stroked some hair away from her face. I wiped her cheeks that were free from tears but I felt the need to do it anyway as I pulled her into one last hug.

"I will be okay noumon." I whispered into her ear as she lightly nodded, "I shall go to Azgeda and find work, I will live mother. And you must do the same."

Anya shook her head at my words and pulled me up to standing,

"I will go with you."

"Lexa needs you more than I do, mother."

Anya shook her head in disgust but I held up a finger to stop her protest,

"You must stay with her when she falls apart, she needs to have someone who loves her in her life or she will grow cold and unfeeling. We will all suffer then."

Anya held up a hand to me cheek and whiled away my dried tears after my episode,

"But I'm your mother."

She whispered out but the words spoke more than a speech could have.

"Your Lexa's mother too."

I replied confidently and after a moment Anya nodded in defeat. There was nothing either of us could do to stop this now. Our lives have not been fated to be together and we must deal with that, no matter how harsh the playing field is. For that is who we are, we are survivors and we survive, even without our loved ones.