Alone

Bellamy

The night time stars illuminated my path towards the lake. My back hurt like hell after Anya had finished burning and tattooing my kill marks onto it, it was necessary but it wasn't pleasant in the slightest.

I chewed down on my bottom pink lip as my quiet footsteps neared the lake. The still and peacefulness of this place allowed me to be at ease even as as i shred my mothers fur coat and stripped down to my underwear. After checking again that no one was near or in eye sight I stripped myself from my underwear, placed them on the side of the lake and stepped slowly into the water. I embraced myself with my arms and hugged the cold away from my body. The moonlight shone down onto my skin and across the water creating an inhumanly beautiful glow.

My lips rose up into a slight smile and the breath left my body in a big sigh. I flung my head into the water and then flung it out again, sending water droplets cascading everywhere. Giggling, I stepped further into the water. I massaged my sore and dirty muscles with the palm of my hand, stopping every few moments to clean again before returning to the intense scrubbing. My hands though, they were a lost cause. I doubt even great Neptune's ocean's could rid them off the blood.

The silence lulled me into a sense of security so deep that it came as no surprise to me when my emotions hit the dam and broke. Sobs rocked my body and i let out a blood curdling scream, clutching my chest and falling too my knees. My eyes flooded with tears and my heart broke.

My father was gone from this world, the man who raised me would love me no longer. And it was all my fault. My body shook with emotion and even my knees couldn't hold me up. I fell to my naked backside and threw my head back to the sky, releasing my stress in one big and final cry.

I cried to the moon and I think the moon cried back to me. Two lonely creatures that no one would ever be able to get close to again.

ANYA POV

My heart shattered as I watched from a near by tree. My daughter was breaking apart piece by piece and I had no idea how to comfort her.

When she was little I would just pick her up, swing her around, kiss her on the cheek and send her off to play with the other children. And now I have gone from being childless to the mother of a 16 winters old teenager. I was barely a good mother when it came to changing nappies, survival lessons and reading bedtime stories and now i have an emotionally scared and damaged daughter on my hands.

Mina's sobs shook the tree I perched in and her head flung back to the moon. Mina looks so much like me it scares me sometimes. I do not wish for her life to follow in my footsteps as my life has not been a very happy one. Having a child at 16 is not completely out of the ordinary for us but it is not expected off a warrior to even have children, let alone to have them so early on in training.

Mina's father had been a mistake, plain and simple, although I loved him so very much. When I discovered the child growing with in I ran from him as fast as my feet could possibly carry me. I eventually sent him a message when I was safely away from his influence and we both agreed that Mina would be safer without him. Mina became the first thing I ever truly loved and I prized her more than anything. The moment i held the screaming babe in my arms i loved her, i loved her so very much.

When Lexa excepted the commander's spirit and became my second I didn't think i could be any happier. My life was perfect, my family was perfect and we all loved each other. Until the day when Mina disappeared and my life went back to the cold dreary shell it was before. Lexa helped me stay sane but nothing can help a broken mother. My little girl was gone and I had failed to protect the one good thing I ever did with my life, in short my life was over. I threw myself into training Lexa and making her become the best Heda our people have ever seen. Nothing lasted forever, that much was certain.