I'm A Loser

Chapter 75.

As we parked out front of Paul's, we were overwhelmed with the amount of people that showed. The front door was wide open as people walked in and out. Stuart held my hand as we walked inside the noisey building where people smoked and had drinks. The loudness of the music playing on the speakers in the living room made the walls shake from the bass. I looked around to see Paul and John standing with a beer in their hands, talking away. John broke out of his conversation to pay attention to us.

"You two get in alright?"

"Yeah. Didn't change a bit this place." Stu looked around. I smiled as Paul handed us a drink and we chatted about the turn out.

"You know I think someones been lookin for ya." John nudged my arm. I looked around and saw George standing with his own girl, looking right at me. Her arms were around his neck as she spoke and left kisses on his neck, completely oblivious at the idea of her boyfriend watching another. I sighed.

"He looks content to me."

"Molly. We talked about this." Stu looked at me. I nodded and left the small group and headed over to face him. I could feel the others eyes on my back so I looked back and mouthed for them to fuck off. They just laughed and went onto their own business.

"Mmmm Georgie youre so tense. Let me help you relax." She smiled and gave him a long wet kiss. Her hands playing with his hair as he let her. I just swallowed and took a breath, tapping his shoulder.

"George."

George looked at me and couldn't help but to smile. I bit my lip to stop myself as his girl glared at the sight of my presence.

"Why are you here?" She asked defensively. I backed up a little as she broke out of his grasp and faced me.

"I just want to talk...."

"Talk. Is that all you want to do?? George told me all about you. About how you've led him along for so long and took advantage of his friendship."

"It's alright love. There's some things I we do need to talk about. I'll be alright on my own." He said to her. She gave him another kiss before letting him walk with me out of the room. I sighed.

"She's a snarky one." I mumbled.

"She's just cautious." He shrugged and led me outside to the back.

"I'm sorry you feel that way around me now. I'm sorry for a lot of things." I sat down and took a drink of my beer. George looked me over.

"Were two different people now Molly. I'll be off in Germany again and you'll be in New York. We both had to have know there'd be a time when we'd 'ave to let go."

"Does there have to be? I mean fucks sake George you're my best friend..."

"We were friends Molly." He looked at me. I felt a pain in my chest.

"What do you mean?? George I am you're friend..."

"It's just easier this way."

I felt my heart breaking at his words. "George..."

"I never want to say goodbye." He took a breath. "But this is something we need to do."

I sniffled to hold in my tears. "John told me you forgive me about what happened. Is that true?"

He nodded. "I can't be mad at ye for startin a life for yourself. I was bein selfish at the moment but, I went home and had some time to think. I have to let you go sometime Molly. I think now, before you leave back home is the best time for it."

I didn't say anything. Nothing could be said. All I could do was stand up and rest a hand on his shoulder before heading back inside where the party was still in motion. I headed over to Stu.

"Yeah we'll get on alright." He finished up a sentence and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"How'd things go?" John asked, drinking another.

"It went better than I expected. Short. I think anything longer would've broken us to bits." I looked over as George resumed his position with his girl. Her eyes darting to mine, making me look away. "I don't think there's a place for me in Liverpool anymore."

....

The party seemed to last longer than I hoped. With some awkward glares from George's girl, John and Paul saying their goodbyes as if Stuart and I were leaving the planet, I was more than relieved to be back in the safety of my bed with Liam in my arms. Stuart still out talking to John at the front steps. That's when I realized how much I have changed. There was a time when I'd be begging Stu to go along with the band to Hamburg. About now we'd be in a club drinking and laughing our drunken heads off at John trying to get into some random girl's jeans. I would miss those days. But instead here I am, feeding my little boy, tired and waiting for my husband to hold me and talk about our further plans until we head back off to New York.

"Nnngghh."

I looked down as Liam made a funny face and sneezed. I laughed and wiped his nose as Stu walked in the room.

"Christ that Lennon can talk. Ah there he is. My little prince." Stu plopped on the bed exhaustedly as I laid Liam on his back. He wiggled around and enjoyed the attention he was now getting from daddy.

"You gonna miss them?" I asked. Stu looked up at me.

"Yeah. A lot." He laughed. "But, I began to realize over time that....I'm different now. There were times when John would offer me another ale, all I'd want to do was come back 'ere to check on Liam or go upstairs and 'ave a cuddle with you."

I giggled and kissed the top of his head. "Let's get undressed and be like old times?"

"Definitely." He leaned up and pecked my lips. "Molly, I just...I want us to live differently than them. I see us now and I look back at how we used to be. I want Liam to grow and learn our way of being. Carefree and completely insane to live without material things."

I smiled and ran my fingers through his hair. "I wouldn't want it any other way Stuart. I think you, me and Liam are due back to our place in New York."

"You want to head back tomorrow?"

I nodded. "We've visited and now we know. I got to say goodbye to George, you said goodbye to John....it's time we said goodbye for good."
.....