I'm A Loser

Chapter 30.

The weekend arrived sooner than we hoped. Paul drove the rental van that loaded the equipment and soon we were headed off to London for a gig. It was a Saturday afternoon when we arrived.

I had to secretly give Stu his medication without the curiosity of the others.

"Great place this yeah?" John smiled as we parked.

"It smells like piss." George held his nose, making me giggle. The place I had to admit was a bit run down. George wasn't joking either. It smelled like urine and cigarettes. The walls were brick and the floor was sticky and dusty. John was happy though.

"We all 'ave to start somewhere yeah? Come on let's set up." He said to the guys. Stuart kissed me and followed them as Tiff and I sat at a table, having a ciggy and a drink.

Rehearsing, tuning, arguing and goofing around is all they did for about two hours. In the mean time, us girls gossiped and counted each person who came in for the gig.

"Fifty-eight." I pointed as we stood front row. George sitting on an amp, having a drink while John went over the setlist again with Stu.

"Pssst George!" I yelled. He looked at me and smiled.

"Oh look what we 'ave 'ere. Our two groupies."

"Shut up Harrison. Put on a good show yeah?" I smiled.

"We'll sure as hell try." He winked. Tiff and I giggled. Stu stood in place. Tall, large bass, sweating, dressed in black, lookinh paler that usual. I mouth a good luck and blew him a kiss. This seemed to relax him a bit more and soon John introduced the band, naming their first number. The crowd cheered and the it all began.
...

About half an hour into the show, the guys were killing it. Their sound was great, Stu kept the beat and George was showing off his fast fingers. John and Paul taking turns singing and changing roles in playing piano. I had to admit, just seeing this show tonight, I knew they were goin somewhere. Tiffany may have been angry with Paul still. But when he winked at her and she giggled, I knew it was all over. John oogling girls from the audience. Probably looking for his little princess for the night since Cyn was away. Stuart and I making eye contact. I smiled when he blushed.

"Thank you and good night!" John said to the crowd. Everyone clapped and headed for the bar. Tiff and I hurrying our way backstage, meeting up the the sweating guys.

"You were amazing baby!" I kissed Stuart and hugged him.

"Thanks Molly. I don't think I was loud enough though." He sulked.

"You were plenty loud Sutcliffe." John patted him on the shoulder. "Really you were great."

"Thanks John." He smiled.

It was only a matter of time until the guys were drinking and having a good time. Tiff and Paul making out at a table while John had a fling in toiletries. George off meeting up with a new girl. I had to admit, seeing him flirting up another girl was distracting. But when Stu wanted to take a walk with me, I quickly agreed and soon we were off.
...

"Are you sure I was good?" He asked.

"You were great Stuart. Perfect every song." I held his hand. The London streets were damp and calm. Hardly anyone out at ten-thirty in the evening.

"Are you feeling alright?" I asked.

He sighed. "I'm alright yes. I just needed some room to think. To be alone. With you. It can get quite crowded in the apartment sometimes you know."

"You're right. Stuart?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you promise not to get mad?"

"Mad?? Why would I get mad??"

I stopped in my tracks and reached in my pocket, handing him a notice. He read it and looked down at me.

"Molly...why??"

I shrugged and looked down at my feet. "I enjoy college I do. But...were late on the rent...we can't pay our bills, were using candles for light for christs sake."

"We can find a way..."

"Stuart...I need to drop out. I can work extra shifts at the diner. I won't be so much of a distraction for you anymore. You can do your work and I can do mine."

He shook his head and pulled me in his arms. "I hate this. You take so much care of me and I feel like I don't do anything for you."

"You do plenty for me Stuart. I love you."

"That's not enough." He squeezed tighter before letting me go. He grabbed my hand and pulled me with him to a nearby hotel. I looked at him confusedly as he paid for a room.

"Stu..what is this??"

He pulled me up to the room silently and unlocked the door, shutting it once we were inside and took his coat off. I bit my lip as he pulled his shirt off.

"Stu??"

"I can't give you much. But there's one thing I want to give you right now."

I blushed. "I don't want you to strain yourself."

"Molly I just played a gig for two hours in a bloody piss smelling building. I can do anything tonight. So pop off those knickers and let me shag you!"

I hid my laughter and walked up to him, taking his face into my hands. "Baby...let's just take it slow alright? Like we used to."

"D'you miss those days?"

I sighed and nodded. "I do."

He stayed silent and played with a strand of my hair. "I love you. Let me remind you that..I'm not completely broken."

I smiled and leaned up, meeting my lips with his.
....

Stuart collapsed on his back beside me, panting and even sweatier than before. I ran a hand through my hair and smiled to myself feeling satisfied.

"Sutcliffe that was phenomenal."

"I haven't shagged like that in awhile." He breathed.

We just stared at the ceiling and let our minds wander. His hand finding mine. I giggled and turned to him, kissing his cheek.

"You were just like you used to be. Maybe this band thing is what you need."

He looked at me and smiled. "I think you're right. Come 'ere."

I leaned up kissed his wet lips. He hummed and pulled back slowly.

"Another round yeah?"

I giggled and sat up, getting on top of him. He looked up at my naked body and whistled.

"I'm going to enjoy this." He smirked. I laughed and shut his eyes with my hand.
....

Stuart and I arrived back at the club around midnight. John and the others packing up gear and sighed in relief when Stu and I showed up.

"We've been searchin for you two! Where were you!?" John asked, smoking a cigarette. I was given an amp to load into the van.

"We went for a walk." Stu smiled.

"A two hour walk?"

"It was a great walk. We couldn't just stop to come back 'ere."

John just tossed his cigarette and laughed. "Christ you two. Come on you lot we 'ave a drive ahead of us."

Tiff and Paul hand in hand, giggling and kissing in the back. George sleeping next to John while Stuart drove, holding my hand up front. I turned the radio on. A romantic song playing, filling the mood perfectly. Stuart may not be the perfect bassist. But it seemed to really get his mind off college. Off his health. Off the struggles at home. We were that loving couple again. Who knew rock n roll could save a marriage?
............