I'm A Loser

Chapter 53.

Gigs and angry stares. The past few days have gone with flying colours, leading up to the day of our trip. Stuart and I have managed to keep our relationship flowing perfectly without John's glares at me or his warnings for me to back off of my showings at practice. But Stu just brushed him off and urged me to stick by his side.

I knew George's intentions before were an act of love and hopeful chances at winning my love. But I really wanted him to understand I was in love with Stuart. My loyalty was to another man. Stuart understood George's feelings for me but wasn't too fond at the fact little George knew more about me than him. So he wanted our trip to Hamburg to be special and a sort of 'get to know one another' periods in our lives. Speaking of periods....
....

August 10th, 1960

I walked downstairs with a glum look on my face, grabbing my coat off the rack and walking down to the car. Stuart was in the drivers seat, having a smoke and waiting. He turned to me.

"So?"

I sighed. "I got my period."

He nodded. "You alright?"

I shrugged. "It's early. Now's not really a good time is it? I mean...Hamburg, looking for a place to stay, the fuckin band."

He held my hand. "Patience. One day."

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Alright. Let's go."
...

"Hiya." Paul kissed my cheek as we entered his place. George was soon to follow as we were greeted and made our way into the living room. John was waiting on the sofa as usual. Tuning and humming to match the key of the first song they'd be practicing. I sat on the small white sofa enough for two people, putting the straps on Stu's bass. He thanked me with a kiss and adjusted. John just watched us, taking a drink of his beer as Paul and George talked about verses and solos. I rested my hand on Stu's lap as he talked with John about how we were going to make our way to Germany.

"....Were goin to 'ave to take our gear on the ferry. Me aunt's given me my passport but I'm fuckin nervous to leave Cyn alone with 'er ye know? She's already told me she wants her out or to pay for rent which is bloody rediculous." John shook his head.

"She still goin to the college? Maybe she can find a flat..."

"She doesn't 'ave the money right now. 'er mum's fuckin pissed when she found out about us goin to Hamburg. I can't afford to bring her along. She's got studies and I've got the band."

I sat, listening as John looked worried and took drinks of his beer constantly.

"It'll work out mate. All you can do is trust your aunt to take care of Cynthia."

"Mimi's fuckin nerve ending when she gets in a mood. I won't be 'round to take care of Cyn. She's quite emotional ye know."

I looked down at my feet and took in his words. I had an idea. But before I could speak, John began on to everyone about Hamburg.

"Alright so, Allan called to mine last night about our gear and the costs of the bloody rental car..."

I tuned out thinking of Cynthia. Despite mine and John's cat and dog game, I really enjoyed Cynthia's company and her kind nature. She was always sweet to me and never wronged me...unlike Tiffany who was still trying to get me to forgive her. I wanted to but the image of her lipstick all over Stuart always made me change my mind of any plans with her. Back to Cyn...

"..And we could probably take a train d'you think?" Paul asked.

"It's too much Paul. Remember the fuckin cost from 'ere to London?? After the ferry, we'd then 'ave to get in on time to the club. They're expectin us to play that same day." John went on.

I tuned out again to think of Cynthia. I remember her once speaking to me in class a year ago about John's aunt being incredibly cruel to her. Always nagging and making rude comments. Whenever John would take her along for dinner or a visit, Mimi would throw a fit about not needing another woman's company. I often felt bad for her when she had to leave to put up with Mimi. But she did it for John. Just the way I put up with John for Stu's sake. But the idea of her living alone with someone who hated her....it bothered even me.
..

After the usual session, we all said our goodbyes and we offered George a ride back home which he accepted.

Stu was off in the loo while I put his bass away in its case. John was having a smoke outside when I caught up to him.

"Hi John." I said reaching for his cig. He handed it to me, watching me inhale then hand it back. "Look um, I think I know where Cynthia can stay."

"D'you care?" He asked sarastically. I rolled my eyes.

"Despite our quarrels and rediculous bantering, Cynthia was always kind to me. I like her and I know she likes me to so, I'm offering her my room at mine. My dad and step mom will gladly take her in, especially if they know she's in college and doing something productive. It's just an offer. I don't expect you to approve but...I want to help her out."

Stu walked out and smiled. "Well that was a relief. You ready?" He asked me.

"Yeah. Tell Paul I said bye." I said to John, heading off to the car where George waited.
...

"Will Tiffany be there?" I asked George as we sat on his bed. Stuart was out getting his papers and I.d for documentation.

"I dunno. Paul 'asn't spoken about it. It'd cost more and to be honest, the room at the club they 'ave put up for us is goin to be shite."

"Are you nervous?"

He laughed and laid back. "Bloody terrified."

I giggled. "You guys will be phenomonal. I get to work, Stuart gets to be mister rockstar slash artist, you get to see another world of rock and roll." I laid in top of him. He stroked my hair and looked into my eyes.

"It's a shame you can't be mine."

I looked at his lips and enjoyed the small bit of glisten left behind from when he licked them. My lips parted as I kissed him. He brought me closer but before things could get anymore heated, I sat up and broke away.

"George.." I caught my breath. "We can't. I can't."

He nodded. "I know Molly. I just can't help myself sometimes."

"It's getting late anyways. Stu will probably be back anyways."

He sat up as I stood up, grabbing my coat and put it on.

"I already 'ave my things packed. Clothes, money from mum and dad."

I smiled. "Me too. I suppose were all so excited to leave. You think they have a lot of clubs over there?"

"I suppose. Why?"

I shrugged. "I'd like to have a dance or two. Goodnight George. I'll see you tomorrow."

"G'night Moll."

I gave one last smile and made my way down where I was met with two familiar little felines. I gasped.

"Where'd you two come from?? Aaaww my babies I though we lost you." I picked up Popkins and Minxy. They purred as I kneeled on the floor. I looked back when I heard foorsteps coming down the steps.

"Where'd you find them??"

George smiled. "John. When Stu lost the flat, him and Cyn decided to take care of them. He told me he'd bring em in tonight when he was comin to speak to you about somethin."

I looked at the kittens and at the front door, knowing what awaited. I sighed and picked them up, taking them with me.

"Goodnight Geo." I said quietly, headed out.

It was cold and a bit misty as the light rain soaked John's hair he was leaning against the wall between mine and George's front door having another cig. I put the kittens in my large purse and crossed my arms.

"Second pack?"

He looked at me and flicked his cig on the wet road. I noticed Stu's car still gone.

"I want to talk about earlier."

I nodded. "Let's go up then."
.........