I'm A Loser

Chapter 62.

Rory jumped up and down on stage as the others played their hearts out. Richard's drum solos were a hit with the crowd when they wanted to let loose and dance crazily. The amount of energy they put into each song was fascinating. Now I understood why the Beatles were second best compared to these guys. As I snapped photos of them throughout, Rory would give me recognition and ramble on about me during song changes, calling me "the girl with a heart of gold". The crowd would cheer making me embarrassed but I enjoyed his sweet nature anyway.

By the time it was the final song, Rory was exhausted from thrashing and putting on a great performance.

"Alright were at our last now. Here's a slow one for the girls and blokes in the crowd who I wish a nice throbber with your lady friends." He winked. I laughed and shook my head. The band began on their long version of Blue Moon while everyone enjoyed each other. I stood silenlty, looking around until Rory hopped off the stage and to me, giving me his hand.

"Care to dance?" He nodded on stage.

"Is it safe?" I asked. He smiled.

"I'll be there to protect ye don't worry. It creaks but it's nowhere near breakin soon." He assured. I nodded and was helped lifted onto the wooden board where it did indeed creak. I decided to kick off my heels and smiled when Rory took position and danced with me. It was sweet and for the first time in awhile I felt a bit shy. The attention I was given from these guys made me feel great. Forgetting all my troubles, I just let my mind turn off, enjoying the moment.
....

"Is this it?" Richard asked.

I looked up at the dark building. The only light on was in the attic. He was there. Alone? Or with Astrid?

"Yeah this is me. Thanks for the ride." I turned to him. He smiled.

"It's no problem Molly. I'd rather you get a ride than walk alone in the dark. I wouldn't feel right sleepin tight."

"Well thank you." I leaned over and kissed his cheek. He blushed. "Richard? Can I ask something?"

"Sure."

"Am I attractive? I mean.. honestly."

He turned red and laughed nervously. "Molly y...you're fuckin gorgeous."

I smiled and looked at my lap. "Thank you. I really needed to hear that."

"If you wanna hear it again, ask anytime. Actually, ask all of us and we'll go on and on about your beauty."

I laughed and opened the car door. "You guys are too much. Goodnight Ritchie. Drive safe."

"G'night Molly. Sweet dreams."

I smiled and got out, waving goodbye as he drove off. Sighing to myself, I headed inside to a silent home. My footsteps were barely audible as I held my heels in hand, barefoot up the stairs.

I heard voices as I stood outside our door. My last encounter like this ended with Stu and I broken up for a few months. My stomach turned into a nervous knot.

"Astrid...we can't do this. I can't do this."

"Why not?"

"Cause it isn't fair to Molly."

"Stuart I've fallen in love with you. I can't hide my feelings and...I was willing to leave another man for you...."

"Don't do this Astrid. I won't lie, I've gained some feelings for you but that's all it is. Feelings. I enjoy our talks and how close we've become but....this needs to stop. I've lost her before and I won't again."

"What about our talk earlier? We could make this work..."

"Astrid..."

Then I heard a kiss. It wasn't long but it did keep him quiet for some time. I bit my lip and swallowed the lump in my throat. I wanted to run away but instead I stayed still. My heart beating loudly as my face felt hot.

"There's something you need to know about Molly and I....were..."

"Shhhh. Don't tell me Stuart. I have to get to bed anyways just...promise me we won't end this."

He sighed. "Goodnight Astrid."

I panicked and hurriedly but silently made my way downstairs, opening and shutting the door loudly as if I just entered. As I walked over to the stairs, Astrid walked down just giving me a small smile and heading to her room. I bit my lip and headed upstairs to our door. Opening, Stu stood infront of the window, looking outside.

"I didn't see you come in."

"I um..I came from the side door. Got a ride."

"With? That bloke from earlier?" He asked annoyingly.

"Richard? Yeah he drove me home. How was the party? Everyone get along fine without me?" I tossed his coat on a chair and set my camera down. He just laughed sarcastically.

"You 'ave a good time at the club??"

I took the pins out of my hair and let it loose over my shoulders. "I did. You know it feels good to be accepted and wanted again."

He turned to me and just glared at me. "You fuck them too?"

"Stuart."

"Did you?" He asked harshly.

"Fuck you." I spat. He walked over and for the first time and smacked me across the face, sending me on the ground. I fell on my knees and instantly put a hand on my cheek, feeling the hot sting begin to surface the more it lingered. My skin grew warmer.

"M..Molly I'm sorry I didn't mean too..." He kneeled down and tried to help me up but I pushed him away and began to cry. Not because of the pain. More of embarrassment and hurt from feeling unwanted.

"Don't Stuart. I get what I deserve is that it?? I'm being punished now for choosing you! For coming along!? I have feeling too! Where the fuck is my sympathy and care!? These past months I've watched everyone fall apart on me and now I'm left with this!? Do you even still love me??"

"Of course I love you Molly! I always have and always will!"

"Yeah and what?? On the risk of having a fling here and there?? On fucking some random girl just too get your kicks of having options!?"

"What's all this coming from??" He asked loudly. I stood up and shoved him as he tried to hold me.

"Fuck you, fuck John fuck George, fuck the Beatles, just fuck everything! I'm here for a reason to you know! Now that you have someone new to support you and spend your time with then the fuck with me too right!?"

"Why are you being this way??" He asked angrily. "Why now?? Why here in this moment...."

"Because we're having a baby and I'm going through all of this alone! How about that!?" I screamed just as Astrid walked into the room.
..........