Sex Toys and Sex Gods [Completed]

Chapter 38: Everything I despise

Mason's P.O.V.

Two months later

I was sitting in front of Lucy's grave thinking about all of the horrible things I've done over these two months that Emma has been gone. For some reason I thought she would have came back by now, but I guess I was fooling myself. I became everything I despised, and a part of me blames Emma for that, but another part of me knows I'm part of the blame. I knew deep down that I was doing horrible things, but Rachael has me wrapped around her finger. If I tell her no, she'll tell Emma everything and everyone that I've done while she's been gone. 

I ruined everything, and it was all my fault. I let my head sink into my hands as I fought back the tears. I was lost in my own selfish thoughts and actions. How did I let things get too far? Why did I fall into Rachael's trap? She turned into the new Nadia, and I was stupid to think otherwise. I missed Emma with all my heart, and every time I think of her, my chest hurts a little more. I would give anything for her to come back, but I know I'm not worthy of her. Even if she came back, I don't deserve her. "Lucy, I miss you. Everything was easier back then, but as easy as it was, there was no Emma. Without Emma, I would probably be in a worse place than I am now." I paused as a tear slid down my face. 

"I'm so, so, sorry Mason." a voice came from behind me. My heart pounded in my chest, was it Emma? Please, let it be Emma. It wasn't Emma, it was Amanda. Why was she sorry?

"Amanda? What are you doing here? What are you talking about?" I asked a little confused. She stood there with her left hand was resting on her right arm, she looked confused herself. But she also looked like she was happy, what was going on? 

"I'm pregnant." she blurted out before I could say anything else. I froze, what? She can't be pregnant, she can't. I felt my stomach drop and I felt a little light-headed. This can not be happening, it can't. I can't have a child with Amanda, I was supposed to be with Emma. Wait, that's right, I'm supposed to be with Emma. I always knew that we belonged together, why did I ever doubt it in the first place? "Say something." She said staring right at me. 

"You can't be pregnant. This wasn't supposed to happen." I walked closer to her so I was a few inches away from her face. "I'm supposed to be with Emma." I stated with no doubt. She stepped back, she looked hurt but not as hurt as I thought she'd be. Why wasn't she hurt? I just told her that I didn't want this child, that I didn't want her. What was up with this girl? 

"It's okay Mason, I wasn't expecting you to be happy. The reason why I was apologizing before is because I don't know who the father is." she said looking at Lucy's grave. My eyes widened. 

"What do you mean, you don't know who the father is? You were a virgin when we had sex, I know you were." I demanded. She smirked. 

"I kinda...had sex, with another person...right after you..." She trailed off. I was shocked. 

"How?! Who was it?!" I demanded. For some reason I felt offended that she would have sex right after we did, like was I not as good as I thought? Why was I even thinking about that? I need to focus on what was going on now. 

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone." she replied, trying to look innocent. 

"Tell me! I have the right to know!" I yelled as I grab her shoulders. I shook her a little when I yelled at her. I didn't mean to, it just happened. She looked scared of me, so I took my hands away from her and stepped back. 

"I promised. But you're going to find out anyway. I just wanted to give you a head ups in case rumors get passed around school." she said, now seeming distant. I regretted touching her, I had no right to do that to her, or to any woman.