Sex Toys and Sex Gods [Completed]

Chapter 35: Shouldn't have fallen in love

Mason's P.O.V

I shouldn't have fallen in love.

I forced myself to get off my knees and stand up. I spun around to face Emma's house and started walking fast towards it. "Mason!" Jerome yelled. I ignored him and rushed all the way up to the door. I pounded on the door as hard as I could. 

"Catherine! I know you're in there!" I roared. I bang on the door a couple more times with no answer, I was getting more angry y the second. I felt someone grab my arm from behind, I swung around ready to punch the person, when Jerome caught my arm and shoved me against the side of the door. 

"Mason, calm down! You're gonna get the cops called on you if you keep this up." he growled. I pushed him off of me. I was angry at Catherine, Emma, and now Jerome. 

"No! You have no idea what I'm feeling right now! You have no right to tell me to calm down!" I yelled trying to wipe the tears off my face. Jerome stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. 

"You're acting like you're the only one hurting right now. Stop being selfish and man up." he said with a cold look in his brown eyes. I couldn't stop myself from laughing. I couldn't believe he just said that to me. I couldn't see my face but I knew it must have been pretty alarming because he stepped back. 

"Oh that's rich coming from you." I exclaimed. He looked confused, but offended at the same time. 

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked with some sass in his voice. I walked closer to him. 

"You know damn well what I'm talking about. If anyone is selfish, it's you." I snapped. He walked closer to me this time, we were about a foot away from each other. 

"I'm selfish? How?" he demanded to know. I never spoke my mind to him or anyone about this before because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I no longer cared who I hurt. 

"My girlfriend left without saying a word to me, and I want answers from Catherine, and you're telling me to calm down and that I'm selfish?! What's selfish is you blaming yourself all this time for Lucy's death, when we all know, including you, that it wasn't your fault! You've been playing the victim this whole time and no one ever said a word to you because we didn't want to break your heart." I let the words escape my mouth with no remorse.  He stepped back, his face was white as a ghost. 

"We told you over and over again that it wasn't your fault, but you refused to listen to us. You wanted people to pity you, so you kept on believing it was your fault when you knew it wasn't! Why do you think you were so angry when you found out that Nadia was the drunk driver? You were angry because you could no longer plan yourself, and you realized that no one else would put up with your bullshit!" I yelled trying to get it all out of my system. 

"That's not true! I was her big brother! I was supposed to protect her, but I failed!" he croaked. I shook my head in disagreement. 

"You weren't her only brother! She had you, me and Benji! Stop implying like you were the only one who could save her!" I cried. He looked shocked, and hurt as I took a breather. He didn't say anything so I continued on. "You never stopped to realize how the rest of your family was feeling. Do you know how Benji and I felt? We felt horrible. We couldn't do anything, to help you or Lucy." I felt the tears on my face and I heard it in my voice. "We lost Lucy, and we thought we lost you too because you didn't wake up for a week. We didn't want to lose either of you, but losing the both of you would have destroyed us even more." I wiped the tears from my eyes. 

"I'm sick and tired of seeing you in agony over what happened and how you won't stop blaming yourself. When will you see that it wasn't your fault? You blaming yourself was selfish, and I hope you can see that now." I finished. I didn't wait for him to reply, so I left him standing in shock and awe. I ran. I didn't know where I was going, but I knew I didn't want to be there. I must have ran for a long time, because before I knew it, I was standing in front of Lucy's grave. 

I hardly ever went to visit her since her funeral, because I was reminded of that day. The day I thought I was going to lose my brother and sister. I visited her with the rest of the family on the anniversary of her death, without Jerome of course, he never wanted to show his feelings to us. Otherwise I never wanted to be reminded of that day. I missed her with all my heart, but it still wasn't enough for me to visit her more. I heard the crunching of leaves, like someone was there. I didn't want to talk to Jerome or anyone else at this moment. "Leave me alone, Jerome." I warned. 

"I'm not Jerome." a girl's voice rang. I spun around, paranoid, was it Emma? My hopes were shot down quick when I realized who it was. It was Rachael. 

"Rachael, what are you doing here?" I asked cautiously. She gave me a sad smile, rubbed her arm and stared at the ground. 

"I know it's going to sound stupid but...I was visiting Nadia's grave. No one ever goes to visit her and since her father is in jail..." she trailed off. I understood why it might seem stupid. Since Nadia was the one who caused the accident and got Lucy killed. My anger seemed to just disappear. 

"Oh, I'm sorry." I apologized. She shook her head with a sad smile on her face. 

"No, it's alright. What are you doing here besides staring at your sister's grave?" she asked in a kind voice. I thought she was a horrible person just like Nadia, but I guess Nadia was the only messed up one in the bitch squad. 

"Um...well I guess I have no idea why I'm here. I don't really visit her grave because it brings back bad memories from the past and Jerome normally visits her the most. I don't want to intrude on his time with her." I said shyly. I've never spoken about this with anyone, not my family, not even Emma. If I want to take it a step further, I never told Alex either.  

"Hey, um...did you want to maybe hang out at my place? I have nothing better to do and you look like you need to get away for a while." she offered. My first thought about her offering that was, did I really want to? But for some reason I didn't care anymore. I didn't want to make good choices anymore. Emma left me without even saying a word. She didn't know the person I was before meeting her, and she's the one to bring that person back. 

"Sure, why not?" I said as we walked out of the cemetery together. She had an innocent smile plastered on her face, that looked fake but real at the same time. We headed to her house and she walked me upstairs to her room. I noticed that her parents weren't home, which should have warned me to leave right then and there, but I no longer cared about my actions. I walked into her bedroom and it looked like the average teenage girl room. I heard her shut the door. With no warning she tackled me on her bed from behind. 

I wasn't prepared for that so when I moved myself so I was laying on my back, she was smiling a enticing grin. She was sitting on my waist with each thigh pressed tightly against my waist. I looked at her with a look of confusion but intrigue. She took her skirt and shirt off without me even noticing, and all she had on was a bar and underwear. I swallowed the lump in my throat. I wasn't prepared for this. "What are you doing, Rachael?" I asked slowly. I had a weird feeling. I was afraid but excited at the same time. 

"Well, I hope I'll be doing you. Word is that you and Emma broke up. I only want to help you through this tough time. If you let me." she said in a luring voice. I didn't know what to say, so I decided to stop talking, and start doing. I pulled her down on me and kissed her with a force I didn't know I had. She accepted my hot kiss by shoving her tongue into my mouth. I put my fingers through her hair and my other hand on her waist. 

We were moving so fast, our actions blended together, as we slowly became one. I lost any train of thought I ever had, I'll I cared about was becoming the horrible person I knew I was. As I pushed myself inside her I had a different feeling. Not remorse, not fright, but a new passion, a new desire that I never knew I had. Rachael was a virgin, I could tell by the look on her face. Well she wasn't one anymore. But the new desire that was hidden inside of me, didn't frighten me at all. 

My desire was taking girls' virginity away.