Letters He'll Never Receive

My Secret

Dear Issac,

I have something to tell you that I realized you may never get to know. Its funny how people thought you knew everything about me, all my fears, my dreams, my secrets, my favorite things, the things I hated. I see that in a way, you did know everything about me. Except one. You didn't know all my secrets. I always kept one from you. You were my best friend and I couldn't tell you my secret because it would ruin us.

I loved you, Issac. Ever since we were seven. At first I didn't know what love was so I asked my mom. She described it and I knew then that it was love what I felt for you. Over the years as we grew up I knew my feelings had to be kept a secret because you didn't feel the same way. When we started middle school, girls were all over you. You were the most popular guy in school. I was just me. When you started going out with the girls I couldn't help but feel jealous. You loved the attention. I knew you did. In my heart I knew that you would never feel the same way I as felt about you, so I kept it a secret. 

Although you had your girlfriends, it felt good to know that I was always above them. I remember when Hailey was your girlfriend she would always be mean to me even though I never did anything to her. One day she came up to me and pushed me against the lockers. She ended up giving me a big bruise on my hand. You had asked what happened to me and I said I fell because she threatened me not to tell you.

Of course, I knew you didn't buy my story. You broke up with her the next day and in front of everyone. I had asked you why you did that and you simply said, 'she hurt you. I told you you're above everyone if they like it or not. You're my number one girl and that will never change.' I asked you how you knew she hurt me and you said you asked around the school and a girl told you she said what Hailey did to me.

But in the end, you don't know how much your words meant to me because you didn't know my feelings. I have basically loved you all my life and you didn't know. I wish I had the opportunity to tell you that now. I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I was scared you would reject me or not be my friend anymore. I just want to tell you how I felt....

I'm sorry,
Fiona