Thorns

Fake Love

Tomorrow is the day of the violin contest, first round. I hope I'll do good but with Jake here, I'm starting to doubt it. He doesn't give me any fuckin' time to go home and practice. 'Let's hangout, makeout, go party, school' all of it so annoying right now. And I feel so annoyed because I don't like Jake, I like fuckin' Zeke!

I hate this so much it makes me angry and sometimes I cry when I'm angry or frustrated so that happens a lot when I'm at home, alone in my room.

My dad is seeming to notice, but he says nothing.

Everybody's noticing that I don't talk to Maggie, Samantha, Zeke, anybody but Jake because Jake is insiting I'm his only and that means that I can only be with him. That makes no damn sense to me but it makes sense to him so I have to put up with it. And it's becoming obvious to everybody that I don't like Jake.

It should be because I'm like a snake -- hostile and striking -- towards him. But he's like an ignorant mouse that doesn't understand, that I want to crush him. It's like he doesn't get that nay second possible, the venom will strike him and kill him because he is nothing to me, but prey that deserves to die.

Venom?

I sigh in the middle of class and draw out a mouse and a snake cartoon where in the end, the snake (me) eats the mouse (Jake) and I grin. A teacher takes my drawing. "Alex, refrain from drawing nonsense in the middle of class or you'll have detention."

"Yes, ma'am."

She puts it down and I close my notebook while she talks about some crap we'll forget about by the time we're all nineteen.

At lunch, I head to the bathroom and since Jake's starving, he takes off to eat. I come out of the stall and Maggie grabs me. "Alex! I'm so sorry! I've decided! I don't care! Just dump him if you want! I feel so guilty and don't want this!"

She's practically sobbing again so I sigh. "Maggie, I can't. He'll do something bad, won't he? What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it . . . But please! Just dump him! I don't care!"

"No."

"Alex!"

"I said no! If it means I have to live a fake love, then so be it!"

"That's the point! I don't want you to be in a fake love! I want you to be in a real love! Please, Alex! Just dump him and go out with the guy you like!"

"I won't!"

Then someone comes out the stall -- Holly Fox. She's standing in her famous hand on the hip, knee bent, head cocked pose. She stare at me. "So your dating Jake because of Maggie and you like someone else. I can help if you tell me who you like, Alex."

"Stay out of my business, Holly," I growl at her and she holds up her hands. "There's nothing you can do."

"Really? I thought that my resources were very useful. But I guess you can just go on with a fake love that you hate."

She's very convincing to a desperate person, okay? "I like Zeke Crowley."

Now, I didn't expect this: she drops her purse and she stares at me, cold. "Well, well."

"What?"

"I'm going out with Zeke, stupid."

That really sends a shock through me. Why is Zeke dating her? I thought he liked me? Why is he dating Holly Fox?The richest and meanest girl in town? This is so wrong. Why is he dating her? I mean . . . I thought he liked me so why's he dating her?! My mouth must've been open. "You didn't know?"