Tattoos (A phan fic)

Chapter 22

(Phil's POV)

PJ is asleep. Last night we stayed up late talking to each other, so he's dead asleep.

I attempt to unravel myself from his arms and surprisingly, I succeed. I quickly slip on some jeans and pull on a jumper before I open the front door, letting some of the cold morning air inside as I watch a folded up piece of paper float to the ground.

I read over it. I read it ten times. A letter from Dan. A letter explaining that even after our last fight, he still loves me. How? How could he even care to think about me? He's back on his feet, of course. At least I hope he is.

I tuck the paper into my pocket and walk to a little corner shop that I'd went to with PJ. The shop that Dan works at.

Small raindrops begin to fall from the dreary sky, and it quickly begins to pour. I run into the small shop, and in the process, I run into a tall figure. With my eyes squeezed shut, I can't recognize who it is, but the scent of raspberries and mint gives it away almost immediately.

Afraid to open my eyes and see the truth, I stay frozen for a few seconds before he shuffles his body, signalling he'd like me to move. I open my eyes one at a time, and see the familiar chocolate eyes looking into mine. The familiar curly mop of brown hair atop his head, framing his soft skin. His pink lips, chapped from the cold outside.

"Dan?" I say, barely audible.

"Phil."

"I saw your note."

"I'd hope so." His voice cracks.

"Why didn't you talk to me in person?"

"You're happier with him. Even though you shouldn't be, you are. And, God, I love you, Phil, so I want you to be happy," I see his eyes are filling up with tears that he's struggling to keep hidden under his long eyelashes. "So I didn't talk to you in person, because I don't want to ruin your happiness."

"You wouldn't."

"Stop lying." The first tears falls. "You screamed at me. You came home at four in the morning, smelling like PJ." The second tear. "You were packing clothes. You kicked me out of my own flat." He begins sobbing, each time he opens his mouth his voice cracks, making me feel worse and worse every second. Everything he says is true, and I hate myself for it. I've ruined him.

"And you fought me. I said I didn't love you which was a lie- and you didn't care. You didn't care! You've cheated on me twice, and I forgave you both times, Phil. How long do you expect me to be okay with this? Okay with you sleeping around with my friends, ruining everything for me? I've lost Chris, then PJ, now you, and next, my apartment. What else do you plan on taking from me?"

I stare at him, awestruck. In any romance movie, this would be where I kiss him, mouth to mouth with rainwater running from his hair, but that's not how real life is. I can't think of anything to say, and he pushes me off of him, getting up and wiping his jeans.

"Wait!" I jump up, grabbing his arm.

He looks at me, waiting for me to give him a long speech about how much I've screwed up, but I can't come up with anything. Now that I've dug myself into this hole, now that I love PJ, I can't choose. I want to be able to run into Dan's arms, undoubtedly, but with his hair all curled up because of the humidity in the air, all I can think of is PJ.

PJ, waiting at home for me. PJ with his beautiful green eyes, who's lost his true soul mate. He thinks we're truly meant for each other now. And sometimes, I wish that we were.

"I'm sorry."

"Is that all you have to say?" His hand on the cold glass door, ready to stomp out of his own workplace.
I utter the words from my mouth that I didn't want to. Although they are true, I feel as if I'm cheating on Peej by saying it, even though its the other way around.