chapter - 31

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(so people we all know that our superheros, our darcies, our angels, our 1D performed last on xfactor. its not the time for being sad, be happy for they promised that it ain't the end. they're gonna come back. these years have been so hectic for them, they do deserve a break, they have their families and they have a right to live their lives like they want to. so my lovely directioners!! be happy for what they've given us, for what they've done to us, and for they are happy. isn't it more then enough for us to know that they still love us so much that they're gonna come back in 2017!
wish you best of luck for this year, 2017!! i love you 1D! stay happy always.)
goodbyes are bittersweet, but its not the end, I'll see your face again.

Harry's P. O. V.

my dad..what! died! i'm still trying to process,all this mess. I mean, I used to hate this person so damn much that i could murder him but..when he's gone, why am I feeling pain, grief? why am I so nervous to face his body? why does it hurt like hell to see my father lying numb? I know i don't love him. I had my mind all set to seek revenge but..i don't want to feel so concerned for this man. I don't want to feel this shivering and goosebumps for a death whom i never cared for.

"harry.." my mom comes running towards me and pulls me in a tight hug. her tearsoaked face red, eyes swollen and bloodshot. my sister stands still, sobbing quietly. and then there's me, who's still standing blank.

i hold my mum from her shoulders as we walk in the room. there lies my dad, white sheet covering his bare skin, his face has several bruise marks and then I notice mom, crying and screaming as she hugs the body tight. my sister tries to hold her but fails.

I don't know. I don't know, how does it feels like to have a friend like a father, who's always there to guide you. but now, I desperately want to have him back, make him realize that he always had his son. i'm such a fool to ignore him all these years. he would always find a way to talk to me and i'd fire back. guilt feels heavy in my chest for my dad. i now realized that, no matter how hard i tried to erase him from my life, i still loved him deep in my heart. I've done the biggest mistake of my life. and i cannot redo it.

i touch his hand, gently caressing,

hoping that he'd recognise it and open his eyes. but he doesn't. he's numb. he's blue. a drop of salty tears falls from my eyes. i turn around and walk away. i know scarlett's coming to stop me but gemma gets ahold of her first and i know she told her to leave me alone.

I don't know where i'm going to. i don't have my car and my home is not anywhere near to this hospital. but i need to go somewhere to clear my mind. to stop this hurtful feeling. to stop these tears for a person whom i used to hate. i walk the streets alone, unaware of the way back to the hospital.

i sit beside the grave of..alesha. the roses i last kept are all died. i don't know what brought me here, but i know i can let my emotions to give up.

"you know what alesha? he died today. that asshole who killed you, is died today. i should be partying somewhere right? but what's weird, I'm moaning the loss." i laugh. a smug covers my face.

"you know i have finally started to love him? but there's nothing i can really do to change it. i cannot bring him back." i don't speak anything after that. i just stare at the sky and try to recall him, carrying a small boy on his shoulders, that's me as i play with his hair. i try to recall the nights just before my birthday when my dad used to ask a wish for me, but never told me what they actually were. i try to recall the christmas and thanksgiving when he'd bring presents for me. the rest of them are blur.

i glance over the dark sky, clear and well lit cause' of infinite stars. i wonder which one represents my dad. he used to tell me, when someone dies, they become those stars, just to see us from above, and comfort us that they're always with us. but then again i wonder about alesha's. did she observed me? did she saw me each and every second? but is this theory true?

i look at her grave, trying to pretend that she's sitting just beside me, comforting me but i cannot. i want to lie beside her and touch her and feel the warmth of her love but i cannot. instead i stand up and look at her one last time before leaving.

Scarlett P. O. V.

"scarlett..let him go. he needs some time." her sister stops me as soon as i march towards him. i just nod and step in the room to see robin who was trying hard to make everything back to normal just a day ago and now..

i close my eyes shut before looking and then, open them slowly. and there he lies. i cringe on my bottom lip just to keep myself from crying. my hands are already wet because of the sweat in this cold winter. hot tears make their way out of my eyes, making my face red but i quickly swipe them away. I have to be strong for him. for his family. he needs me, he needs me to comfort him, but where is he?

i sit at the chairs, outside the room and wait. I look at the time and then towards the corridors.

"scarlett..if I'm not wrong?" her sister sits beside me.

"yeah. how's your mum now?" i look at her.

"she's alright, sleeping in spare room. she was tired." she sounds low, hurt. moaning her father's death. the tears start falling after a few minutes of silence.

"hey. everything will be okay. come here." i pull her in a tight hug. carressing her back. that's when she finally breaks. she sobs in my arms.

"he was so loyal. i'd miss him alot." she sobs.

"i know, i know its hard to face the grief of your father's loss. i cannot even imagine the pain you're going through. just be strong. you are the one to take care of your mom and harry..shh." i hug her again.

"the funeral is settled after a week." she whispers.

"shh.." i try to comfort her.

harry finally appears. it seems like he had been crying, but its obvious. i sprint towards his direction.

"where have you been?" i ask him but he, pulls me in a hug. he doesn't cry. i know he wants to let this out but he needs to be strong. he's the one who can bring his family back. he knows he cannot breakdown. he cannot show his mum and sister that he is weak.

louis' birthday is not so far! he's turning 24 on 24! bleh!!
i love you :* :*
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