Outside The Lines [boyxboy]

Outside The Lines {20}

                “Don’t lie to me, Theo. I can read it in your eyes. I don’t like when people lie to me,” he said.

                “You never call me Theo,” I said, almost desperate. “Dimitri, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was just so sudden. I didn’t mean to!”

                “But you did,” he said, standing up. He reached out, gently brushing his fingers on my cheek. He wasn’t wearing any rings. “You did, and it screamed volumes about your feelings for me.”

                I reached up, twining my fingers with his. “I love you,” I whispered. “That’s how I feel about you, Dimitri. I love you.”

                “I know you do, Theo. But you hate that you love me. You’re ashamed of me,” he said, rubbing his thumb against the back of my hand.

                “Why do you dress so wildly? Look at you! You’re gorgeous like this!” I said, gesturing at him with my free hand.

                “I dress how I want to. I like wild colors. I like crazy clothes. I’m comfortable with myself, unlike you,” he said, his tone factual, not cruel. “Besides, I don’t fall for looks. I fall for personality. Looks are an added bonus.”

                “Dimitri-” I started, but he shook his head at me, silencing me.

                “Don’t ask me to dress ‘normal’ all the time Theo. I don’t change for anyone. If someone loves me, they love me for me. I am wild and crazy and flamboyant, and I accept myself. It’s how I’ve always been. Look at old pictures of me. Never once in my life have I been society’s definition of normal, and it’s never bothered me. It doesn’t even bother me now, after I was rejected by the boy I loved because of how I look and act. I would never ask you to change, Theo. So don’t you dare ask me to change. I suggested that you put a little color in your life. Did I ever try to make you? No. I am me, and I don’t change for anyone,” he said, his voice remaining calm through that entire thing.

                “Dimitri, please. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said honestly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t mean to try to change you.”

                “The fact that you did it absentmindedly makes it so much worse Theo,” he said with a sigh. He squeezed my hand. “But yet I do believe, the origin and commencement of his grief sprung from neglected love,” he quoted quietly.

                My heart dropped into my stomach and I wet my dry lips. “Quoting Hamlet again?” I asked, trying to make light of the situation.

                “Theo, we’re done,” he said, pulling his hand away from mine and letting it fall back to his side.

                “What?” I asked, my heart stopping.

                He gave me a sad smile. “We’re done. With our relationship. I do love you, and I know you love me. But you’re too ashamed of me for this relationship to work. So I’m breaking up with you. Eventually you’ll get over me and fall for someone…normal.”

                “No,” I said, reaching out and gripping his arm. “No, Dimitri, please. I’m sorry I hurt you. But I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”

                He calmly looked down at my hand gripping his arm. “Let go of me, Theo. It’s over. You made your mixed feelings very clear. In the end, your denial got the best of you. So we’re done here. I apologize, but I truly believe you’ll be able to move on.”