To Pimp A Caterpillar [COMPLETED]

Chapter Twenty

Nala

[Please excuse any errors.]

Oh, can't you see I'm wrapped in cellophane?
Watch the blood pump through my veins
Electricity floods my brain
Can't hide the pain
Can't hide the pain
When you're wrapped in cellophane
Look at me I'm such a basket case
While I fall apart, you'll hide all my pills again
And all the things I need to hear you say
You'll watch as all my thoughts get right back on the train

The pillow swallowed my cries as I lost all control of the deep loathing and scarring that coursed through my body under the blankets I'd cloaked myself in. I was feeling sooo cold. My very core was iced.

It's 04:40 AM and I'd hardly had a wink of sleep in the past week since coming back. All I could see when I closed my eyes was his grotesque face. Even thinking of him turned my guts.

SIA's 1000 Forms of Fear was on with Cellophane on repeat. The very song brought the tears gashing down my face without thought. At the moment I felt like no one could understand this, this thing that he'd harvested in me with every violation of my body.

"You're mine, future."

I snapped my head up towards the door... Nothing. It's all in my head.

My alarm was about to go off and I had to get ready to go back to school again. Although all I wanted to do was shrivel up into a cocoon and emerge centuries later with a new identity and purpose, I had to go finish my senior year.

I threw the blankets to the side, heading to the shower. I rubbed a vanilla bar soap onto the washrag, listening to the water as it beat lightly against my body where his marks were still apparent against my caramel skin.

I felt the tears coming on and dropped the rag for the loofah, rubbing the bar hard onto it until suds formed on it.

"Get off! Get offa me!!" I yelled, scrubbing vigorously against my skin to remove these, these filthy contusions that kissed my tempered skin, reminding me of every time he-he, he...

"Bianca, wha-" my dad stopped mid-sentence as he and my mother poured into the en suite. Mom pushed past him with tears at the brim of her eyes, reaching for the towel to cover my raw body as I stood in a traumatized and bewildered state against the water that now poked fun at my raw bruises.

"N-no no, Momma, I-i I gotta get him off, Momma. I gotta-" I continued to skin myself with the now raw loofah.

"Bianca, baby, don't." she grabbed both my wrists, forcing me to look at her noting the tears that were staining seemingly now aged face. "Please..." she begged.

I looked to my father who looked down in defeat before exiting the room. He too looked tired.

I turned back to my mother and nodded my head as she shut the water off, pulling me closer to her with the towel like a mother would do a newborn child after a bathe.

She walked me back to the bed, letting me sit on it as I fiddled with my fingers while she looked through my drawers for underwear. She came back to the bed with the underwear, a white t shirt and grey sweatpants, and my toiletry bag.

"No... I wanna, I wanna go to school. " I set the t shirt and pants aside. She let out a sigh, kneeling in front of me.

"Baby, I don't think you're ready..."

"I need to go back to school, Momma. Please." I pleaded as she searched my eyes for any uncertainty but I knew she wouldn't find any. I'd rather be out there than under the same roof with him. He's the reason he did this to me!