Me and the Bad Boy

42; Why I have to let him go

Another week has passed. Two full weeks since Reid's been in the hospital... in a coma. The've gone by in big blurs. I hardly see the happy in things anymore without Reid. I'm getting really really worried.

But I'm not the only one. Yesterday we had at least twenty guys from the fighting thing to come and see him. We all held hands and prayed.

Today is my day to see him. I haven't seen him since he first went in there. Everybody but me has. I've been scared to. Sad, I know. But that's just me.

"Eden?"I look up and see Reid's doctor standing there. He's been trying to help us through this so that's how I know.

I stand up, wiping the sweet off my palms on my hand. "Yes?" He nods. "It's time." I nod back and follow him as he goes down a hallway. They seem as if their closing in, squeezing me together.

I walked faster.

"Right here." He stopped on a wooden door that had 304 written in the little plate. "Thank you." I mumble before entering the room. It's dark. The only light coming in is the light through the window, where a little crack was.

I look to the bed, where Reid's lifeless body lays. I cover my mouth, trying to not make any noise while I'm crying.

I walk over to him, pulling a chair up beside the bed and sitting in it. Reid's eyes are closed. But he's breathing. His hair is a mess on his head, the brown locks flying everywhere.

He has needles hooked to his forearms and hands. The other ends were hooked to monitors. They weren't loud. But loud enough to drain out my heart thudding against my chest like a drum set.

His face is pale. And in a frown. Not the usual chestnut perfectly tanned skin with a one dimpled smirk. His face... his whole body...

It's lifeless.

I cry, leaning froward and takin his hand. "Reid.... you have to wake up. I need you here... I'm sorry I didn't let you explain yourself," I let out a humorous laugh. "The funny part is that you didn't sleep with Brim that night. She just drugged you then told you, you did.... Reid I'm so sorry... you have to wake up... Please Reid.... please..." I squeezed his hand again and leaned up, resting my cheek beside his body. I would've done it on him, but I don't know where he's hurt at.

And for some reason.... I keep talking.

"I'm going to try and graduate near the top of my class.... I'm hoping within the thirties and twenties... So then I can go to a good college.... and make good money for our baby.... I still don't know if their a boy or a girl... But I don't care. I'm just glad your the dad... I couldn't imagine my life without you, R..."

Why do I keep going?

"I love you.... God, I love you. I love you so fucking much, it's not even funny. I love you one hundred times more than how much you love me. I'm just good at hiding things... Dammit, this is all my fault!" I stand up, gripping my hair.

I start pacing back and forth in front of his bed. "If it wasn't for me.... you wouldn't have left mad.... Or alone. I probably would have argued about getting on a motorcycle but in the end I'd whined up with my arms around your waist as we speed down the road," I laugh, shaking my head.

"Fuck! This is all my fault.... I should've let you explain yourself. But no! I had to be stubborn o'l me and tell you all that shit...." I cry harder, falling back down into the chair. I grab his hand, this time playing with the cross ring. "I'm sorry, baby.... I love you." I kiss his knuckles before tangling my fingers through his.

And I go to sleep like that.

~~~*~~~

Week three.