Blue Neighbourhood {the story of Troye Sivan}

11 ~ not right

POV: Troye

I'm laying in bed when someone knocks on my door. It is my mum, probably checking on me again. Since Adam dumped me I've been feeling really numb and I basically isolated myself from my friends and family. She's worried about me and I can't blame her but she's really getting on my nerves.

After a few moments of sympathetic staring I snap at her: "What is it?" She says: "Uhh I was wondering if you could get something for me from the grocery store." "I don't want to I feel sick." I mumble as I turn around on my bed, my back now facing her. Just the mere possibility of seeing Adam again makes my heart ache. "But we've run out of eggs... And some fresh air will do you good, I promise." she says trying to convince me. "Ugh okay I'll do it" I respond, I have to face him someday anyways and it's already been a week. Maybe I'll be okay. stop lying to yourself Troye

~

Adam isn't working today, or at least I didn't see him at the grocery store, so with a relieved heart and some groceries I'm walking on the sidewalk heading home. My mum was right. The fresh air is nice, maybe going out wasn't such a bad idea after all.

But then I see him. I see the familiar dark blonde quiff and the blue eyes I've come to love so dearly and my heart stops for a moment. Then I see there's a girl beside him and my heart fills with jealousy. Are they like... together? I can't help but feel betrayed. I try to make eye contact with Adam to see if there is any love for me left in them and if he still wants me like I want him but he refuses to look up from the girl and I remember that he never once loved me anyways. So I walk past without saying a word and when I look behind me I see their hands intertwining and I feel tears forming in my eyes. this isn't right.

I come home crying and my mom asks me what's wrong but I just tell her I need to be alone for a while. It's kind of weird how much I care about him but I felt like our connection was just very very special. Like we were best friends and we lost that but when we reunited the other day I felt like I was alive again. He's my missing piece and it felt like destiny for us to be together. It wasn't complicated, it just seemed like things finally made sense and fell into place. But then he suddenly broke up with me and tells me it was all fake when it felt so real. I don't understand and I feel like I lost half of me.

I need to talk to someone so I decide to skype my good friend Phil. He always knows how to cheer me up. He greets me cheerily but as soon as he sees my red puffy eyes and the tears streaming down my face he gets into worry mode. I explain everything to him and he listens to my rambling without even once interrumpting.

Eventually I say: "I don't know what to do Phil. I feel trapped. I can't face him again by going outside but I also can't hide in my room forever. I need to escape, I need to get out of this blue neighbourhood." After a few moments of silence he replies: "This may sound crazy but why don't you come to the UK for a while? Dan and I have enough space for you and it'll take your mind off of things." This sounds like a great idea to me. I wanna leave this blue neighbourhood.

A/N; sooo there you go! my last daily update for a while! this is a long one so I hope you like it, I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments :) if you know me well you know that I'm also phan trash so I just had to mix some phan in there... excited for the future!

on when I'm gonna update... I'm not sure. My school starts again and just school alone is already stressful obviously but I'm also doing like this university introduction thing for 8 weeks which takes a lot of work and I already struggle with like stress and anxiety a lot so I don't want to stress myself out even more by pressuring myself to post like x times. after all; this is supposed to be fun right? I think I'll just update when I feel like it and it'll mostly be on the weekends, maybe once a week at least. most of the chapters this week were kinda crap and short so I hope to write better ones in the future and spend more time on them. if you read all of this thanks for that and also thank you so so much for continuously reading and therefore supporting this story bc like 30 people consistently read my crap and that's just really really cool so thank you! stay awesome, Mylou xx

ps. yes there is a next chapter up already but it's just a filler chapter so I thought I'd upload it at the same time

pps. okay this is the last thing but y'all should seriously read Failingskg 's story if you like phan bc it's freaking great and she is better than me but don't leave me pls k bye