Loving Clarissa Fairchild

Chapter 5: Thoughts

CLARY

It was late when we ended our little games, Jordan and Simon are so drunk that we tricked them to make out with each other. We've been laughing so hard at that. Good thing I'm not so drunk that I didn't do anything bad. We all resigned and walked in to our own bedrooms after cleaning everything up. Since Jace told us that he never hired a cleaning lady yet, because he's such a neat freak that there's no dust in his house. I hardly believe that.

I plopped on my bed, groaning thinking for a moment about William, but decided against to it. I stood up and decided that I wanted a dip in the pool. Since everyone is sleeping, I can have the pool by myself and think. I changed into my plain black tube bikini, grabbed a towel and went outside.

I found myself lounging in the Jacuzzi, looking at the view. It was breathtaking, I can't help but to groaned out of annoyance because I don't have my supplies to draw and paint this scenery. Maybe I should look some houses in here for rent, to move. With Luke wanting to propose to mom, I know after that they would move in together and me being an adult I think I want a place of my own. Money is so hard to catch but with my skills in art, I hope that I get a lot of work.

I hope that I would find a nice place like this for my own. I would paint it like I wanted it to be. I'm not looking for any man right now to get settled in, I know my mom been longing for a kid in the house, always teasing me before with Will, asking us when are we going to have a baby. Will always blush at that and my Mom and I always ended up laughing our guts out. Even though I always have been wanting a baby of my own, seems that I can't. Will and I tried twice but it never came, I know I have no problems neither is Will we checked to the doctors office, seems that the stress is the problem. After that Will and I never tried again, he said that it will come if it will and that maybe we should stop for awhile and try if we're truly settled, even though we're not married yet that time, we act like married couples. I sighed.

I must've been thinking for so long and hard that I didn't notice someone had walked on me. I sighed and turned around to look at who's awake.

"Can't sleep?" Jace asked with his husky voice. I can't help but to look in his eyes, how dilated is. But still it's beautiful. I blinked and composed myself.

"Yeah..." I simply said turning around again, looking at the view. He didn't respond for a second, though, I assumed that he left, but I was shocked that he knelt and sat beside me, handing me a beer.

"Thanks..." I smiled genuinely at him, he only nodded. He looks so quiet, though, I wonder what he's thinking.

"You can't sleep either?" I asked him.

"Yeah. It's hard to sleep at night, sometimes..." I only nodded at him, drinking my beer. We sat there in silence just drinking, not bothering to mutter a single word. I think Jace has his own problem that, he's been thinking too hard. I can't help but to stare at him, his features are way more different than Will, considering that they're cousins. Will has a black hair like a raven and blue eyes like the ocean, but Jace. Jace with his tousled blond hair, golden orbs, well-built body. I sighed.

Stop thinking how beautiful he is, Clary. I thought to myself. I shook my head.

"You know it's rude to stare..." He muttered. My eyes widen as I looked at him again, he was smirking at me. I bite my lip and rolled my eyes in annoyance.

"Yeah, well. I can't help but to notice the difference between you and William.." I simply said and shrugged, I hope he bought it.

"How are things between you and William?" He asked me changing the subject.

"Things are good, I think we'll be meeting soon for the first time after the breakup..." I mentally slap myself for telling him that. We're not that close yet I find myself telling everything to him.

"That's great, I guess..."

"It's a good thing we remained friends. It's so hard to deal with an obsessed ex-boyfriend. Good thing, Will isn't like that..." I told him. He tilted his head looking at me. Raising an eyebrow. I smiled.

"Before Will, I had this boyfriend who is obsessed with me. I broke up with him because I realized that I only loved the idea of him being so obsessed with me. Not because he loves me so much. That it drives him insane..." I told him.

"That's kind of sick. Don't you think?"

"What? Me, or Him?"

"Him."

"Yeah. Well, I don't really know why he is so deeply in love with me, that he swear that he'll come back for me. It really gives me the creeps..." I told him, shuddering to myself.

"Well. I think that's not love it's obsession.. You really drove him mad.." I only nodded at that. I mean seriously, I know how to be madly in love, but Sebastian? He's a creep, he's different.

I finished my bottle of beer and shivered. I think I need to sleep.

"Umm. I think I'm going back to bed..." I told Jace, as I stood up. Jace looked up at me, more like eyeing my body out. I smirked.

"Like what you see, Herondale?" I told him. He shook his head and gave me that famous smirk of his.

"Very..." I chuckle at that.

"Goodnight..." I simply said, and left. I hear his chuckle, his lovely chuckle like it lulls me to sleep.

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JACE

I can't sleep, that's how I end up being with Clary in the tub. I mean I've been standing there for like a few minutes when she felt that someone is watching her. She's so in deep thought that she didn't feel my presence right away. There's something about her, that keeps pulling me to be close to her.. I don't really know what. Yes, she's beautiful, her smile, her beautiful smile, her humor. How she understands my slang, I don't really know how she did, because I know Will never spoke slang how real English men do. Her beautiful artistic tattoo on her feet. Damn, I would love to kiss those. Fetish much, I thought to myself.

We've been talking for some time now and when she decided she's going to bed. I swear I feel sad and yet I drooled when she stood up. Her long curly hair that stops just below her breast, her white porcelain skin that's a perfect match on her black tube bikini. Her belly button ring. I mentally slapped myself. I know I love women, but this was foreign to me. Boy, she'll be the death of me. I thought to myself.

But I won't lose to that bet, I really want to kiss her... I thought to myself.

When she left. I was left with my thoughts about grandma Imogen. Isabelle told me earlier that she's looking out for me, she wants me to get settled also. Grandma Imogen is dying and I know what she wanted for me, she wants me to get married before she passed away.

Maybe I can hire some lady for that job, I thought to myself. But that would be rude. But if there's any chance I would. I can't get settled yet, I don't have any girl that interests me the most. Well except Clary, she's the first lady that haven't fallen into my charms. She's very competitive and simple. Her smile that is very pure and genuine. She's a real thing.

Maybe I should ask her.

I groaned and brushed my thoughts off. I can't think of this now. Maybe I should visit grandma on Monday.

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