Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

Bad Blood and Amazing kisses

"Bandaids don't fix bulletholes
You'll say sorry just for show
You live like that
You live with ghosts
(You forget you forgive but you never let it go)
If you love like that
Blood runs cold

Baby now we got Bad blood
It used to be mad love
Take a look at what you've done
Coz baby now we got bad blood

Baby now we got problems
And I don't think we can solve em
You made a really big cut
Coz baby now we got bad blood."

Honestly though Taylor Swift has it right with this song. I mean I felt like she was singing the words and writing my story in music. And the song was totally amazeballs. It got me in the mood for dishing out revenge.

I had heard that revenge is a dish best served cold. You know people stew in for some time, savor the hurt and the pain so that when they hit back they do it well and more painfully. But I wanted mine to be red hot and smoking. I wanted to rip off the proverbial bandaid and pour acid on the wound. Yeah I had stewed and savored the hurt for a long time. Now I just wanted to hit back at everyone.

I think I had honestly scared Alex because he was silent on the whole trip to my mother's estate. I felt like all my badass vibes could reach him in his car and probably paralysed him. Maybe he was rethinking about dating me and honestly I wouldn't blame him.

He slowed down the car and parked it to the side of the road. We hadn't reached my mother's estate and there was nothing wrong with the car. He took a deep breath in and took off his seatbelt. And the next thing I know he reaches over to me and kissed me hard. It was like the kiss back in the church. The one where I felt he consumed me with just a touch of his lips. I didn't realise it but I was kissing him back. When he withdrew I actually made a small protesting noise. Damn but the man could kiss. We haven't even gone on our first date and his kisses have me addicted.

"Livvy I know this might come as a shock to you but I have been wanting to do that since I saw you in the morning."

"You saw me in the middle of my PMS freak out session and the first thing you thought was that you wanted to lock lips with me? Are you crazy? Who in their right minds wants to kiss a woman who is crying and has snot coming out of her nose."

"See I knew you would say that but all I could think at that time was that you look cute in your pyjamas and with your bed hair and I want you to stop crying. Plus I have discovered that kissing you shuts you up pretty effectively."

He thought I looked sexy with my bad hair and crazy teared up face. This guy is crazy but I don't know why my heart was beating faster after hearing his nonsense. God I must be going crazy too.

"Do all your lines always work on women? Or is it just me?"

"Well you did admit that they seem to be working on you. Thanks for that. And no I never have tried any lines on anyone. I always try to be honest. And honestly speaking I find you sexy beyond belief. Have I told you look smashingly beautiful today?"

"How could you possibly find me sexy or beautiful after seeing me in my crazy mood in the morning? Do you have no standards at all?"

"I don't know how but I always find you sexy. I found you sexy when you shot me down for dinner seven months ago. I found you sexy when you started swearing after seeing me with your father for the first time. And I also found you sexy when you were screaming at Donald or whatever his name is. I always find you sexy. Trust me on that."

I feel like my heart was trying to escape from my chest and find a way to his. The way he was looking at me like I mattered to him more than he let on, it was like a balm. With his words he healed me. I was still bloodthirsty but now I felt like I wasn't angry at the world at large. Now my anger was only concentrated on few people. It confused me as to how a guy I met 7 months ago and insulted, could possibly understand and appreciate me more than the mother and sister with whom I have spent more than half of my life.

"Why? Why do you like me so much? You barely know me and you like me."

"You are special. I know you don't think so and I also know why but you are. And contrary to what you believe I do know you. When you are nervous or anxious you hide behind your hair. You try to avoid getting attention. You chew your lips when you are thinking and honestly it drives me crazy because all I want to do is kiss you. When I kiss you, you respond so beautifully it makes my heart ache. You never cry and you bottle your feelings up. You shouldn't do that. Its not healthy. You are stubborn and very hard to persuade. You like to keep people thinking and guessing about you because you are scared that if they find the real you, they might not like you. But you are so adorable and you don't even know it."

In a matter of 2 minutes he had peeled of all my layers and insecurities to reveal someone I don't recognise as myself. I don't know how he did it but it felt like he was stripping away the mask that I wore around everyone else. And somehow it didn't feel intrusive and invasive with him. It felt natural. He made me feel light like a huge burden had lifted away with his words. He was slowly and steadily making his way past the walls I had built. And I was letting him do it.

"I think you scare me sometimes. I mean honestly how many times did you stalk me? Edward much? Next thing you know you'll tell me you also watch me sleep." Yeah I was hiding away again but only because I liked him too much. Plus we both needed sometime. And I had an important commitment to handle and then we could discover more of what this is.

"Well way to ruin a moment Livvy and please you honestly think I look like some sparkly vampire?"

"I am amazed how you managed to know who I'm referring to. Anything you want to confess? Which team are you on Jacob or Edward ,my dear twihard?"

"If you must know I hated those movies but I do have a cousin who loves them. And she made me watch the whole series for missing her birthday party."

"Oh don't make excuses now. Its okay to like vampires. I mean you can appreciate your brethren can't you?"

"Did you just call me a vampire?"

"Yup I did."

"Well this particular vampire feels we have to hurry or we would miss the bloodfest you were so eagerly awaiting. Ready to go?"

Oh yeah I was ready. In fact I was itching to get near those two bloodsucking demons that I called family.