Dammit I am not in love with you!!!!

The Finer Print

"There's your Vodka. Now start talking! The sooner I have your background story the better it will be."

"Better for whom?"

"Better for both of us. But more for me so I don't feel like such an ass for knocking your sister's future husband at his own wedding."

"Trust me you were not the first. That honor was claimed by my sister long before you came on the scene."

And so I started the recounting my very horrible day. I don't know how or why but I managed to retell every single thing from today's morning to afternoon. From the dress fitting to the matching of ribbons for the bouquets to the train of the wedding gown getting stuck to Mom's patent heels to the Groom having objections and confessing his love to me and what followed afterwards. I even littered my account with comments and rants about the people involved. All the while, Alex dutifully listened and kept the vodka flowing in my glass. When I finally finished, he just clapped and laughed. Like a full belly roaring laugh.

"Why are you laughing? Do you find this funny? Of course you would delight in my misery. Its your guilty pleasure isn't it?"
I mean I have had an absolutely horrible day and the jerk is laughing like its the funniest thing he has heard. He was just bent over laughing like a crazy person. Who does that?

"Trust me I am not laughing at you. I am laughing at your family. Until now I thought only I had a psychotic family to deal with but today has been an eye opener for me."

"Do you now understand why Dad called you?"

"Yeah I had guessed as much. I thought he wanted me to be your last minute date to the wedding but this was way more serious."

"How did you know I wanted you to pretend to be my boyfriend?"

"Apart from your desperate plea for help on the phone, you pretty much hammered a SOS sign on your forehead when I entered the church. I swear the expression on your face reminded me of the gazelle being hunted by a pride of lions. Plus I could hear the noise inside from outside the church. So I decided to eavesdrop a little before making an appearance."

"Well now that you know the whole story, are you going to help?"

"Well you do know that if I help you, you're going to owe me big? And I already told you on the phone I intend to collect. You up for that?"

"Why can't you be nice and do it for free. Then maybe I can return the favor and pretend to get you out of a sticky situation too."

"Where's the fun in that? Besides now you can't back out. Since your whole family and the wedding guests have seen me as your boyfriend."

Damn him and his business skills. I mean he has me in a tough spot and he knows it. Well, I guess I have no choice. Might as well get it over and done with. Like ripping of band-aid.

"Okay help me out and in exchange name your price and I will do it. I just have one condition- I will not have sex with you!"

"I never intended to ask that of you. I prefer that when I do have sex the woman I am with, she consents to it on her own free will. Plus I respect you too much for being a jerk like that."

I know I always thought he is a arrogant and conceited jerk but he is honorable. Maybe he too has his good points that I haven't noticed yet. Since you know I had the misconception he was the date fixed by my mom. And then I had insulted him too much to actually take a step back and apologize.

"Fine name your price."

"Date me!"

Wait a minute. Did I just hear that right. No maybe the vodka has gone to my head. I mean I refused him once. He wouldn't risk his one and only advantage over me to ask me that.