Lost Memories

Doubt.

Althea's

Bigla kaming natahimik ni Cathleen, nagkatinginan lang kami. Awkward.

"I think i should probably go althea, thanks for today. It was really nice to see you again." She got into her feet, maybe she felt something about jade's actions. Miggy and i then said our goodbye to cathleen.

I let miggy freshen up and rest for a little while, tatawigin ko na lang siya pag dinner na. And, i wanted to talk to jade. I want to know what was going on with her mind. Naguguluhan din ako sa nararamdaman ko, cathleen is still special and will always be. She was there when i'm trying to fix my messed up life, she never gave up on me, even if she knew that, my feelings for jade never faded. I am her number one priority, She took good care of me and miggy, and i was happy, i have learn to love her for that.

I remember the day, i saw jade in the park and talked. Cathleen and miggy were already in the car when i got in, i didn't hear anything from her. So i ignored, we then head home and let miggy rest as soon as we got into our bedroom, cathleen sat on the bed and cried. And i sat beside her to ask what was wrong.

"Babe, what's wrong?"
"Althea, i.. want you to be happy. I know you still love her, and you've always have. and no matter what i do, i can't replace her in your heart it was never really enough. I saw how you looked at her, there was something in the way you looked at her that's way different from how you look at me. I know, i feel it, whenever your with me, your mind and heart is with jade's, at umaasa na someday magawa na niyang panindigan ka. You were never really mine althea, but i wanted to thank you for trying, and staying with me. I'm letting you go now. Because that's how much i love you."

Hindi ako nakapagsalita sa mga narinig  ko, instead i just hugged her, i couldn't hurt her more. i feel guilty. Because it's true. My feelings for jade never really faded. And i was still in love with her, i was still hoping we will eventually find our way back to each other someday. But, its not that i don't love cathleen at all, its just that it was not like how i feel with jade. I couldn't love her the way she loves me because i was never really over with jade.

I got into our room, and saw jade watching tv, i sat beside her in the bed, but before i could even say anything to her she was suddenly in her feet, and got out of the room.

I followed her, She headed in the kitchen and prepare for dinner. Wala pa din siyang imik. So hindi ko na din kinulit, we had our dinner with miggy tahimik lang and headed to our rooms after.

Naligo agad siya when we got in the room. At hinintay ko nalang. After her, ako naman ang nagshower. She was sitting in the bed, and i sat down beside her.

"Pwede na ba tayong magusap lablab? Ayoko naman matulog tayo na alam kong may mali. Ano ba yun jade?"

"Althea, i know our relationship didn't worked out before, because of my family issues and stuff, at natatakot pa kong tanggapin ng buo ang sarili ko, alam ko din na sobra kitang nasaktan, at hindi ko na yun mababalik pa. And i know i don't really deserve you, and i'm sorry about that, but you see, this time i'm trying, i'm loving you a lot much better now, and i swear i'll do everything to keep you with me, ayokong maramdaman mo ulit lahat ng yun. Hindi ko lang maalis na matakot, i can't lose you althea."

I held my hand to reach her face and carressed it. "Hey, hey jade, shh! Is this about cathleen? Listen to me jade, it doesn't even matter anymore, it's all in the past, at ang mahalaga eh yung ngayon. And yung kay cathleen, wala na yun. Matagal na yun, at kuntento at masaya ako sayo. Mahal kita, Mahal na Mahal jade, at wala ka dapat ikatakot. Ikaw lang ang gusto ko jade, ikaw lang. Hindi ako mawawala sayo." She then started to cry, hinawakan nya ang kamay ko.

"Pero minahal mo pa din siya althea, you were together, at alam ko naging masaya ka din sakanya. She took good care of you and miggy, She fought for you, and stood by you when you were having a hard time, she never gave up, You were her number one priority, mga bagay na hindi ko nagawa. At hindi ko na din mabubura yun."

"Oo, jade.. Ginawa niya lahat ng yun. Pero it was never enough for me to forget all about you, all about us. Cathleen is an amazing woman, and an ideal lover, pero ikaw pa din ang nasa puso at isip ko when we were together. At hindi na mahalaga kung anong nagawa o hindi mo nagawa, ngayon na magkasama na tayo. Kaya wag ka na magisip ng kung ano ano okay? Kasi hindi ko ipagpapalit to sa kahit ano dito sa mundo."

She hugged me. And we stayed in each others arms, she then whispered in my ear. "I heart you lablab, thank you." I replied without any little doubt in my heart, "i heart you too lablab." And I kissed her.

Kumalma na din siya at natulog na kami, totoo ang lahat ng yun masaya ako. at hindi ko kayang mawala si jade, i just love her too much.