I know the name of the website that would feature the porn I was in when younger.I went there and watched some videos featuring me...I couldn't stop watching them..yeah them ,over a four year period you make quite alot I found about 20 ranging from when I was 9 to I had to have been 12..I just sat there watching me get cum shot on my face, watched a full grown man ass fuck me then make me suck him off and swallow for him, I watched one where I had to fuzk 2 boys then at the same time lick her pussy...and as if on cue one.of the boys pulled.out and o had to open mouth so he coul.cum.in.iy, then all the times I was with an adult.i watched one, I was then getting fucked byn Satan their german.shepard dog, then I'd just start over and watch again, I watched them over and over about 5 times each. I was held in front of the videos for o dont.reallu know.hpw long...I finally left and I did it again today...no there's no emot8n and I couldn't even cry...it was like I was there in the room right then....I knew it was me doing these horrible acts, it just has made me so numb..I don't have anyone I can take to that woukd be able to really understand..and I'm so lost right now..I don't know why I went to the site, why I'd want to or more need to see it again...now the images that had faded are crisp and renewed in my mind..od run but you can't run from yourself..od kill myself but God doesn't want me he would rather I finish life semtemce...as I'm writting G this I'm fina)y able to cry...If you asked me how do I feel I'd te) yiu nothing..I was so empty tjen I'm just as emmrynnow.tjeres nothing in me that's any part me.. a lifeless pupette...
Adalaine
CITEȘTI
Random darkness
Ficțiune generală*this story is very descriptive and may be considered triggering. Be in a safe frame of mind when reading* Thought wanderings of a depressed mess...No real rhyme or reason..insights about death, suicide, self injury, self hate,bullying, abuse. Allot...
