Random darkness

into the lions den**trigger warning**

"Come with me dear, you have nothing to fear"
"Sit here close to me, lets play a game"
"I touch you there, then you touch me here"
"Now,now there's no reason for those tears"
"Lets take off that dress, yes"
"Let me get comfortable let me remove my slacks"
He slips his hand under my shirt, then he focuses his attention down there.
Laying naked on his bed he firmly holds my head, tells me open my mouth, he puts it in. Holding my head firm...choking, gagging, can't breath, holding me firm in his grip..he squirms.. Im almost there..his white hot anger slipped past my lips...I wanted to throw up so bad but he kept it in my mouth.
"Wasn't that fun? See it wasn't so bad. And don't forget to thank your dad"
"Maybe next time you will be more accommodating to me. This time I was being gentle. Next time you will play along nicely!!"

Who could I tell? Dad said it was ok. That I'd get used to it. He was dad, I had to do what he said. I couldn't tell mother, she wouldn't understand. Call me a whore, say I dressed slutty to get him aroused. Say I asked for it. Not to talk about it it was over.
So I shoved it down and again and again and again,over and over and over until there wasn't any room left for any part of...me. So I truly became little miss sleep about, daddies darling, little miss girl who would.
6 yrs old I lost my virginity...8 yrs old I became a child porn star 10 yrs old I made my first cut 12 yrs old truly now I really was a slut( it felt good then..I hated myself so much more for everytime I gladly slept with her/him...It was the ONLY pleasurable thing I knew or had known...still it was something despised and very very bad..I was so damn confused..no, that isnt close to what I felt. Before,disgust. During,excitement. After, pure loathing and searing hate for me)
Question: How many men do you have to sleep with before your officially that slut?
Adalaine Skyye