16 finds me blowing out candles and making wishes and all around me there's everyone but the one I'm wishing for. But he sent me flowers and gift wrapped excuses from the daddy whose daughter wants to see him again, and I know its just another birthday. But I guessed and I thought, this would be the one that he would call me and see me, hold me and free me.
But it's just another birthday. ..
And I'll be fine...I'll be fine
19 finds me and I'm wild eyed and wide open and I gave my soul away in love but backseat promises fade like the morning mist. Screaming at the midnight air, everyone hears me but I don't care. My hearts closed just like a fist. Well I didn't ask for any of this.
And I know it's just another birthday
And I'm Not fine...I'm Not fine
In the company of strangers, alone in the cold and sterile room, alone with the child inside me and I don't know what to do. Jess can you hear me? Come and heal my brokeness, put the pieces back together, and be a father to the fatherless
A father to the fatherless
21 finds me blowing out candles and making wishes and all around me a barefoot princess twirls and sings. It's so amazing looking back at all God's brought us thru. You are my Happy Birthday and you were born to break the chains, now I know it's just another birthday
And I'll be fine...I'll be fine.
This song makes me cry every time I hear it. Even writing it I started crying. I have a little girl Marie. I haven't seen her in about 7 years. Her father got 100 percent custody cause I'm a slut, stupid, have a psych DX, and because I might flip one day and instead of cutting me I might harm her..fucking piece of shit judge.. .and it was a woman!!!
They moved out of state..I'm not aloud to visit her..aperantley I lost all rights...I'm her mother, I miss her so so so bad...
Adalaine Skyye
YOU ARE READING
Random darkness
General Fiction*this story is very descriptive and may be considered triggering. Be in a safe frame of mind when reading* Thought wanderings of a depressed mess...No real rhyme or reason..insights about death, suicide, self injury, self hate,bullying, abuse. Allot...
