A Hypocrite's Guide to Not Sounding Hypocritical

The Cliches of Werewolf Stories

I don't even know where to begin.

Um... *brain working too hard* Ugh. I need to lie down.

Ok... I'm gonna list everything I want to cover in this part. Also there will probably another part to cover what I didn't get. And I would love to hear your suggestions.

-Young Alphas
-Kidnapped Mates
-Summaries as Titles
-Popping the "P"
-Adopted by your Mate
-White Wolf= Weak/ Black Wolf=Strong
-Female Alpha Problems
-Stone Hearted Alphas
-White People Only
-Rejection Rejection Rejection
-Mine

Young Alphas: Okay okay okay... this is okay if you use it correctly. But so many people have written stories where the supposed Alpha of the pack is under nineteen. Honestly if I were in his position, I would be too overwhelmed by taking care of my pack and school and other things involving friends that I literally would probably die of exhaustion. Plus you've got the raging hormones that want to snog every girl you see. Like really?

So in my opinion, I think the Alpha should be at least twenty two years or older. I mean cause aren't alphas supposed to know how to look after a hundred werewolves and have a little thing call wisdom? Seriously. Plus I also think a lot of older men are more good looking then the younger versions of themselves.

Kidnapped Mates: This would be okay if the supposed mate was on drugs or high or SOMETHING because this is not okay in my opinion. If you saw your mate and went up to her a snarled "mate" under your breath then snatched her up to take to your house then expect her to fall for you just because you're her mate? Seriously some people believe that it's okay to write this. Kidnapping is not okay. And I don't mean to be offensive in any way but why would you do that to your own freaking mate? You're supposed to care for them and treat them as if you are both the same person just split up.

Then there is the whole mumbling mate under your breath thing. Why do people do this? I don't get why you'd suddenly sniff the air then mumble mate in her general direction. It's insane. It really is. It wouldn't bug me as much if you already were together and you like whispered ever so slightly into her ear the word "mate" but that's besides the point.

Summaries as Titles: Help! My Mate Is An Alpha Werewolf And I'm Pregnant with his baby Plus he Rejected Me!

My Mate Is a Rare Breed of Werewolf And I'm A Mermaid!

MY SUPER POSSESSIVE EX BEST FRIEND WHO IS ALSO MY MATE WANTS TO REJECT FOR SOME HOT SKINNY BLONDE BITCH!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!!!??!!

This. Is. Ridiculous. RIDICULOUS! I don't know why people think it's all fine and dandy to have a title that completely ruins the entire book. Like why would I read something that sounds as if you are literally telling us what your book is about like a middle school book report.

I don't think having a title that is more then five words long would get more than at the most a hundred reads if you want people to read your book. I've got some advice for you. K.I.S.S. Keep it simple stupid. If you can't connect anything together in your book to make a descent title that is less then six words at the most, I honestly think you should reconsider your plot and start over.

Popping the "P": This one annoys me so much I simply can't even explain how I feel or give any tips on how to avoid this. Just DONT FUCKING DO IT!

Adopted by Your Mate: Really? Is that the best you can do? Really?! "Adopted by my mate" Does anyone else feel that it's kind of disgusting to be the mate of your so called brother? That's just wrong. And to actually treat him like your boyfriend which is even more despicable. *gags* Having se- *dry heaves* having sex with your so called brother. Then having him Mark you as his own. I can't even begin to explain how disgusting that is.

But, Grey? In some cases-

No there is no some cases. You see. I'm becoming delusional because of all the idiocy that is involved with this.

Um... I think it's called hearing voices in your head or rather the other side of your mind speaking to you.

I don't have time for this.

White wolf= Weak/ Black Wolf= Strong: Now I know that there are some books out there that explain this concept beautifully. Like the book Demon by @varzanic. She described the reasons why the lighter coats were more say weak then the darker coats. Just if you do this have a reason behind it. Please for gods sake. Because I would absolutely hate to ruin your writing habit if I stumbled across your book that had a concept like this without any explanation.

Female Alpha Problems: This is not okay. If you need some more clarification on this then go read JuneValentine s How Not to Fuck Up a Werewolf Story. I will not accept this. Female Alphas have made many wolves look at her and ask if they can speak with the Alpha. Then she says she is the Alpha and they're all just like Wha?! Like seriously if you can't accept that there can be an Female Alpha then you have no right to criticize others for the same mistakes you have made. I will not take no for an answer.

Moving on.

Stone Hearted Alphas: What is up with the men these days? They don't cry. They don't get upset. They don't care. But they can love. Though I'm not if its true unconditional love like what human men can have. But it's something. Like maybe the only thing that can make them give up everything is to have one person in which they hurt more then anything. Basically I'm saying all the possessive and abusive mates are the ones hurting them. Seriously? The one thing they care most about is the one thing that they hurt the most. What happened to this happy fantasy? Uhhh... D-Don't answer that. *clears throat*

White People Only: We don't live in the freaking sixties anymore! There are other races you know. There's Asian, African- American, Indian, Mexican, Black, European,  and so on. We aren't separate anymore. How many of you walk down the street and see at least one black person every single day?

That's right. Almost all of you. *gives you punch* *pats head*

Rejection Rejection Rejection: Why? Why is this a thing now? Mates are supposed to love each other no matter what they look like and no matter what they do. It's not like real life guys. It's not like you can simply dump your mate then find a new one. You get THAT one over there. The gorgeous self-conscience girl who hides in the corner not wanting to talk to anyone.

Although I do get that if you hate to look at your mate then you can reject her.

No. No I don't. Don't even think that. Not even for a second. What is on the outside could the complete opposite of the inside. All that matters is what's on the inside. Cause if it didn't guess what would happen? Go on guess.

The world would fall apart because of so many ugly children. Hence what happens in Flawed. Seriously. By the way good job if you got that right. GG bro!

Mine: single worded titles. They can be good sometimes. Like again with something JuneValentine  wrote. Her book title Skin was perfection in my opinion. It described enough about the book without giving to much away. But titles like Mine and Rejected give a little too much away without the excitement of finding out why the book is called what it is. Like seriously you could list so many book titles that tell you to much rather then not enough which give them more mystery in my opinion. So try to find something that fits but doesn't give to much away.

So again if you would please give some suggestions on what to cover in the next part of this section then that would be much appreciative. Also check out JuneValentine s How Not to Fuck up a Werewolf Story for more elaboration on what to supposedly watch out for. Until next time, see yous!^>^