What About Me?

Chapter Nine

Karina.

Right now I can honestly say that I don't know how I feel or what I'm doing. Lexis was right, G has been calling and texting almost nonstop. It got to the point where I had to block his number, but then he just started calling the house phone. I needed a break and to just get away for a while and so I turned to the one person I knew I could trust... Lexis. "We can stay for as long as you need."

"Lexis don't be creeping up on me like that, you scared me." I quickly snapped out of thought I haven't even realized I was gazing at the water. We were at a beach house, I'm not sure if it was Lexis' but I'm just happy to be away. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. You okay?" He moved closer to me and I could feel him standing behind me. "I missed you Lexis." I turned to face him and he just stared at me. "What?"

"Nothing, I missed you too." By the look on his face I could tell something was on his mind and I was certainly going to get to the bottom of it. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing K, I'm fine." He was lying. He always looks toward the ground when he's lying. I crossed my arms and gave him a look. "Don't even lie to me Lexis, what is it?" I stared at him tapping my foot. "I just feel alone like you're here but you're head is all wrapped up in other things. When you say things like that it gets to me because you're married K, you have a new life. I just don't know where this is headed. Do you still wanna be with him?" I honestly had to think for a second.

With Lexis it's like my mind, body, and heart are at peace... he just makes me feel safe and loved no matter the situation. G is just stuck in my mind because these past years he's been such a big help in my life, especially with Aubree. Everything just happened so quickly... I'm just now getting to know this new, humble Lexis and I honestly feel like I love him even more than before. The more I'm with him, the more my feelings for G fades.

"I want... I want you Lexis. I miss you, I miss us. I'm sorry if you felt like I wasn't here for you all the way. I'm just confused because of how fast everything is happening. You randomly get released from jail... from the dead not even 3 months ago and almost instantly its like the last 7 years of my life was nothing... meaningless. But when I'm with you I fall right back in love with you."

"Okay Karina, I love you too." He kissed my face and went back inside closing the sliding door behind him. I can say that I'm at peace with that off of my chest and hopefully we can be the family that I've always wanted us to be.

I would feel like a terrible person if I denied G the privilege of seeing Aubree. I know she's still like a daughter to him and she's been asking about him for days now. Maybe I'll think about calling him when we get back.

"Mommy!" Aubree yelled tapping on the glass door. "Be quiet, what do you want?" I opened the door and got down to her level. "Daddy told me to tell you to come here." I nodded my head and followed behind her. "I found her." She smiled and sat on the couch next to him. "Thank you princess."

"So what are you two doing?" I laughed sitting down in his lap. "Aubree had a question for us and I think its best if you tell her yourself." I gave him a weird look and turned toward Aubree. "Okay, what's your question?"

"Is daddy gonna be your new boyfriend?" I looked at Lexis and he clearly thought it was hilarious. "Yes Aubree, he's my boyfriend." Her face seemed like she was confused for a minute and I understood why. I knew this conversation was gonna happen soon. "What about G?"

All eyes were on me and I didn't know what to say. "G made a mistake that your mom forgives him for but because he made that mistake its hard for your mom to be with him. You want her to be happy right?" She nodded her head.

"Just because me and G are having problems I don't want you to be mad at him or ever feel like you can't talk to him. He's still gonna be here for you if you need him, okay?" She nodded her head again.

"But why does G call you Monica if daddy calls you K?"

"My name is Karina but your dad gave me the nickname Monica a long time ago before you were even born. Okay?" She shifted in her seat as if she had a million more questions, and I'm sure she did. "Why did you change her name? I like her old name better."

"I was just trying to keep you and your mommy safe and I like her old name better too."

'What's your real name then?"

"You know my name, it's the same as it's always been. Lexis."

"Why is my last name Taurez?"

"It was Thomas like mine, but I wanted you to have a name with real family and history so when me and G got married I change your last name to Taurez like his."

"But G isn't my dad anymore, why can't I have daddy's last name?" I turned toward Lexis and he seemed surprised that she'd said that. "I told you I did all of this to protect you and your mom and she knew you couldn't have my name back then either. She was protecting you just like I was protecting her."

"Can I change my name too? Pleeeeeeeeease!" I laughed at Lexis shaking his head at her. "Change your name to what?" He asked looking at me out the corner of his eye. "Um... Princess Aubree Maritza... Richards." She giggled at her British accent.

"You want daddy's last name?" I looked at him and he shrugged his shoulders. "Yes." She smiled so hard, I thought it was so cute. "Well I think I can make that happen... but only if you promise to always listen to your mom and only if she agrees to eventually have my last name too." I'm sure Aubree didn't know what exactly he meant by that but it put a smile on my face. "Really? I promise!" She hugged him and stood up. "Yes now how bout you go get some marshmallows so we can make your dad eat s'mores with us." She ran off to the kitchen so fast it was ridiculous.

"Now what's all this talk about me having daddy's last name?" I smiled putting emphasis on daddy. "Mhm, I see what you did there." He lifted me so that I was straddling him and his hands were sitting on my butt. "You were my fiancé before all of this and hopefully we can get back to that soon. You're wifey material so you being just my girlfriend ain't gonna sit right with me for too long."

I nodded my head and leaned in to kiss him and he gave me exactly what I wanted. "Okay I found the marshmallows. Daddy can you help me get the crackers down? I can't reach it."

"Anything for the princess." We both stood up and followed Aubree into the kitchen.