Tiny POV.
I couldn't sit and drown in my own sadness. What happened happened and I'm done with it. I took a test and I wasn't pregnant nor did I have any STDs.i just hated now everybody just looked at me like i was the saddest creature they ever saw. i wanted to just believe i was fine. thats it but ms.ray and tee and donna and nay wouldnt just let me forget . i know they were trying to help but nothing was going to take back what happened.
all i wanted was patrick. And just let all of it go. but it was almost impossible the way everybody asked all day. "are you ok? how do you feel?... i was so tired of it.
tee-you look kind of down are you ok?
here it goes
nay- yea you do look kind of down
BITCH SHUT..THE...FUCK...UP
they looked at me shocked and i just walked away with patrick in my arms crying from the noise.
it it was hard enough being a mom and then to have these people trying to comfort you like your some fucking child.i am only 14 and this year is going.... horrible... i was going to be 15 tomrrow and nobody knew. i dont even think lauren and carson remeber. i laid patrick next to me and watched his little hands touch my face. he started making weird face and sounds kicking his feet and i just looked at him.
are you hungry or something? do you need to be changed? i stopped and realized he wanted to play. patrick had developed from just being a little vegetable of a baby and started getting characteristics and personality traits.he had a face that was to die for already. he was kind of little but i know he loves peaches because nay has an addiction to them. and everytime she eats them he crys and whines for them. of course i cant feed hm them because hesto little but i know they be sneaking peach syrup in his bottles.
the next day i woke up and patrick was already up wiggling around. i went to his crib and picked him up. i heard tee and nay and donna behind me and i turned around.
tee-HAPPPYYY BIIRRRTHHDAYY TOO YOUUU
they all sang together and i bust out in tears. i mean i have had birthdays before but even when everything is bad these eople did there best .
nay- ms.ray told us its your birthday so we gathered some money an bought your favorite snacks annnddd BOOM your favorite color cup cake
donna-all for you! even though you cussed us out yesterday cough cough apolgize
im really sorry guys this is so nice
tee- and we even felt the guy up in the kitchen a little bit so he'd make your favorite!
awww you shouldnt have. i laughed hard as hell and hugged them
I really loved these girls. Even though I've had better birthdays in different circumstances this meant way more. Because they didn't have to.
6months later.
Nay and tee had there babies.
Tee named her baby faith. She was a girl and so adorable. And just like me and donna nay had hers right after tee. All our babies were born in the same month and they are all 6 months and omg were they growing. They were trying to crawl and they were so bad omg. I've never heard if 6 month olds having to have time outs but they needed them because when they started fussing they didn't stop. Lauren and carson still came but me and carson recently broke up. He had some hickey on his neck. Like wtf was I just supposed to sit around and be some dumb ass side chick. Mm mm
Plus I had Patrick to worry about anyways. So to bad. He just wouldn't tell me who did it which was annoying but I dropped it and havnt spoke to him in two tweeks.
I was sitting with tee and faith waiting on them to get done poking and prying at Patrick .
I wish they would cmon.
Tee- girl he ain't dieing just wait.
Well he's sick and I don't want them touching all on him to make him sicker.
Tee- have you thought about leaving the shelter?
Yea but I can't. I went there because I got put in a program for pregnant troubled teens so I can't leave till I'm 18.
Tee- me to ..I just wish sometimes. This is like being in jail just. Not so ugly.
I don't know I mean I like it. I don't have to worry about a place to say.they help us with our kids.
Tee-true.I love it ok? I'll never leave if I dont have to. Going back to what I had to go through..isn't worth it. I just miss my brother.
I didn't say anything because she was about to start that miss my raping ass brother shit.
They finally put Patrick down and I grabbed him rocking him as his cheeks turned red. Aw my poor baby got a fever. They gave me his prescription and we left.
Tee- u wanna take them to the park?
Mm mm Patrick needs some rest he's sick .I frowned and caressed his hair.
Tee- ok I see.
We got back home and I laid him down . he wiggled and cryed and I was becoming irritated. He always does this even when he is sick he just is extra restless. He always wants to be up and today he was being extra fussy about it.
Patrick! You know damn well you need to be sleeping . he threw his toys out the crib and grabbed the rails standing himself up.
I popped his head softly being funny .lay down big head. He smacked my arm . don't hit me back! Dang. I rolled my eyes and he laughed at me. Don't be laughing either. He did it again and I kissed on his cheeks and he made little baby noises .
Fine then cmon little boy you know you sick but you want to be up all the time.
I picked him up and he laid against me. When I walked around he usually fell asleep for some reason I walked in the kitchen and I made him a bottle here rick. I handed him his bottle as he drank on my hip and I walked around the house saying hi to everyone.
By the Time I got back to my room patrick was knocked out. So I quietly laid him down
I took this time to write. I loved to write. Just poems was all. Id write about my child hood. I'd write about Lance. I'd write about my mom and anything that hurt me. Anything that made me happy. The main person I wrote about was patrick. I was in love with patrick. Deeply.
I had this little man who loved me unconditionally. And he was enough for me honestly. Carson meant a lot to me because he was the 2nd guy I formed a relationship with . that wasnt with a baby. I laughed outloud with myself. So I wrote about it.
When I was done it was 8ish so I woke up patrick.
Pat pat baby cmon get up he turned over with his eyes bright and I picked him up kissing him and he automatically giggled. Give mommy shome kishes baby. I put his mouth to cheek and he slobbered.
I laughed. Your the best
