Waiting for War

Ken

I'm heading to class when I see him in the distance. A man, standing outside of the school looking through the tall ornate windows. It's an odd sight that makes my skin crawl. he looks out of place as he disappears back into the woods behind the school. i gulp and keep walking. something was not right about that. he seemed out of place here. somewhere where he wasn't supposed to be. but why? i'm sure there have been others that are around just like him. but the way he looked at the building. i could feel the cold from here. maybe he didn't hate the place but that could also be wrong. something was wrong with the picture. the only question is what.

classes feel long today. my days keep extending like rubber stretched until almost breaking point and then released. 24 hours elongated into 48. kally and luke spend most of their time following me around. they don't try to make me talk. they just walk with me and talk to each other. they know i'll say something when i feel like it. not that i feel like it. at all. i keep to myself. away from everyone else trapped between my two ears. my mind is a blur of monotony. nothing changes other than the subject of my dull fixations. each class makes me more sure of my own mental fragility. i don't want to keep up in any of the classes. i don't want to pay attention. it only got worse after i transformed into the bear.

i know why i did it. i know who i thought of to do it. and that makes me never want to do it again. it would be better to die than regret my life choices concerning her. i need to get better but there is no better. there is only pain. agony about something i cannot change. someone i cannot change.

at least it gives me time to think about the figure i saw earlier. to think about what he was doing outside of the school in the middle of the evening. he almost looked like he was hiding out in the trees. spending time soaking into the land. watching the school. and now that i think about it further. he was watching something. soemthing high up above the floor i was on. but i was pretty high up so what could be higher up than i was. and then i gulp. was he looking towards veronica kelly's office?