Waiting for War

Kassie

Kally and I lay in our beds across from each other, each of us looking at the opposite wall. We haven't spoken to each other since the library. What she told me is treason. What she told me should get her killed, but I know that she's right. She's right to some extent. And if I kill off someone just because I think they're right then I'm no better than my mother. And I can't deny that my mother is killing others anymore. Kally said something in the library. Something about the one giving orders. And who else would it be if it's not my mom. Henry does everything my mom says. And if he does everything she tells him to do, her hands can't be clean. The only question is what is my mom hiding? Why does she have to kill the others off?

My heart pounds in my skull. I can feel my brain pulsing with thoughts. If my mom is killing alasians, more than just Katie, are they all justified? Are all those deaths justified? And when are they justified? And why am I the one that feels the weight of it the most? It's almost like there's a channeling in my brain, pushing me into these thoughts. Pushing me back through my choices.

The chosen one, the creatures had called me.

Chosen to do what?

Bring justice? When I was a part of what tore this world apart?

How much of my life has my mom been lying about? It would make sense why she didn't want me to talk to the creatures. Find out something I'm not supposed to know. The only question is, what am I not supposed to know? And why? Why didn't my mom think I would trust her if she told me? Why wouldn't I be on my mom's side?

My heart and my head are in shambles. I've never had to think about if what I'm doing is right. If all of this struggle to keep control of this world is the right thing to do. I've always just trusted my mom. Like Katie trusted me when I brought her to the slaughter. She's right. I didn't face her head on. She's right I am a coward. I'm a coward for not wanting to know what's behind my mom's facade. I'm a coward for thinking that she would lead us into peace when she brings death with her. What is the right answer here? Where can I find the truth?

Perhaps it's time I learned more about the creatures' histories. More about that night 20 years ago when this whole ugly war began.