Waiting for War

Luke

Kally and I sit near each other in the kitchen. She's as cut throat as she's always been, even if I think what she did was wrong, Ken still got out of bed. He's been in the shower for an hour though, which is not promising. He usually only needs 15. Mrs. Devre tells us both not to worry but I know it's a false hope. I've seen this as a healer, it's depression. And Ken is already dying, so it can't help. My heart hurts for him. We all feel culpable in Terrence's death. Katie's words stick like bubble gum in my brain. If only she could have escaped sooner she might have been able to stop it, but the only way she escaped was by overflowing the system.

Even if I had tried to do something, I'm a healer. I wouldn't have come close to his abilities. I know Ken has a lot more experience with killing, if he was there and we all teamed up together maybe we could have saved him. It's these what ifs that run through my head like a blazing train. I can't keep my head on straight because of it. I keep running through the scenarios like something could have changed. Like somehow Terrence wouldn't die in the end, but nothing brings him back. And nothing cures the hole he left behind. Henry had apparently brought the extra power depleter, Veronica wanted to see if I was capable but never expected me to succeed. Now she's eased off on me to work with them. The whole organization has taken a step back. Whatever it is that's coming, the security around the universities is intense. Since we all live in the capital we've been able to see the progress. The arena has been under construction, not only that but the levels themselves seem to be under construction.

Whatever is coming, it won't be the same as it was before. Not like it could be, not without Terrence. But he said something in one of the last conversations that we had, something about Tigris being on our side. If I could talk to her, maybe we'd have a direction to go in. Maybe she knows enough about the government to give us some direction. Kally still spends time with Kassie, there's been a line between them though. Even if Kassie doesn't want to admit it, I know this has to be affecting her too.