The bet

32. Knife on the throat.

Olivia

I wake up and find myself on my bed.

Did I dream of hugging Joel Cullen?

''Hey Liv.'' Lucy strokes my hair.
''What time is it?" I ask.
''It's 1pm.'' she answers, and I frown.

I slept that much? Did I miss school today?

''How are you feeling?" Lucy asks.

Memories of me on that dark room come and a shudder runs on my body.
The door was locked, and I couldn't get out.
I remember that I couldn't breathe and...
''Oh my God, I hugged Joel Cullen?'' I yell as I remember him wrapping me in his arms.

It was the best feeling in the world!
Quiet brain, this is not the moment.

Lucy smiles and nods.

Oh, dear universe, how did you let this happen?

''Cherie.'' Andy burst on my room and jumps on my bed, hugging me, ''My dear, dear, amie I thought I would never see you again. I thought I would be forever alone in this big cold world. The world is so empty without you, Liv. Welcome back to life, ma cherie.'' he hugs me tight, taking the breath away from me.

''Chill, it was just a panic attack, she didn't get hit by a bullet.'' Lucy rolls her eyes.
"Shut up Lucy, don't ruin the moment.'' he says, and I laugh hugging him.

''Let her breathe.'' Lucy says and he shakes his head.
''She didn't allow me to hug her when she was hugging that connard, so I'm hugging her now.'' he says. 

That reminds me.

I grab him by his hair and get him away from me.
"Ouch, Liv! What was that for?" he groans. 
''Why did you allow me to hug Joel Cullen, you idiot?!" I yell.

He gets up from my bed and points at me.
''Premierement, I did try to get you away from him, but you wouldn't move. Deuxiemement, that piece of shit was holding you like his life depended on it and wouldn't let you go. Finalement, you snatched my hand away when I tried to get you. My hand!'' he says, and I glare at him.

''My hand!'' he repeats again with a dramatic voice.
"Oh, shut up!'' I scoff.

''You were sitting on his lap and cuddling him like a cute little girl. Oh, Joel don't leave me, I need you.'' he says in a high-pitched voice.
"Fuck off!'' I hit him with my pillow. 

''Oh, my Joel, mwah, mwah, mwah!'' he makes fake kisses in the air.
''Lucy, do something!" I cry.
''Leave her alone Andy.'' she laughs. 

I close my eyes in embarrassment and memories of him holding me rush into my head.
He wrapped me in his arms and held me closer to him. Somehow his hug made me feel better, safer. Him whispering 'I've got you' to my ear was a southing melody in my head that calmed me. 
It was nice. It felt nice. 

He is the first person that calmed my panic attack besides my mom and Lucy.

But why would he get me out of the basement and comfort me when he was the one who locked me there?

''They looked cute together.'' Lucy sits on my bed and rests her chin on her hands.
Me and Andy look at her in disbelief.

''They looked disgusting!'' Andy says.
"Nah, they looked cute. Like two pieces of puzzle finally meeting each other. They fit perfect and look perfect together.'' she smiles.
My throat gets dry as I listen to her.

Me and Joel like two pieces of puzzle? 
We're all the opposite of each other. We don't fit together; we break each other for our own needs. We're a disaster. An apocalypse.  There is nothing perfect on us.
There is no 'us' at all.