Catchfly: Seeing Stars

Chapter 47: Snowdrops On New Year's Day

January 1 – 3:48 AM

Jace and I hear soft footsteps from the hall. A black nose pushes open the bedroom door. I smile at Cody's arrival.

"Hey buddy." Jace greets him. He climbs into Jace's bed, somehow still finding the energy to do so, and twirls a few circles before he nests himself on the foot end. Jace's bedroom is small, but the way it's organized makes it look like it has so much space. I guess with a mind as cluttered as his, you would expect his room to be just as messy. The guitar in the corner shimmers in the moonlight. His wooden desk is stacked with books and notebooks. I tilt my head to read the book covers. Atlas Shrugged. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. One Hundred Years of Solitude. Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. The bulletin board above his desk has a few pictures on it. I see one where he's a toddler and Lucy holds him up, squeezing his sides. She's giving the camera that familiar warm smile, and Jace is grinning wide. Showing off his gums like my cousin Tyrell does.

"This used to be your mom's bedroom, right?" I ask in a soft voice.

Jace looks up from his phone. "Yeah. She left a lot of stuff when she moved out." He puts his phone on the nightstand and turns his gaze to his room. "The desk was filled with ticket stubs. She left her guitar... this lamp." Jace's fingers trace the lamp on his nightstand. It's a Tiffany-style lamp– which I know only because my mom is really into antique furniture, and we have a light similar to it in the living room. The head is made of a cotton fabric, embroidered with blue flowers.

"It's real ugly, but at least I've got something that was hers." Jace smiles, somewhat lost in thought. Maybe that's why he keeps his room so clean. Why he started reading those books, why he left that lamp. It's his way, his only way, of getting closer to his mom. It's what's left.

My phone buzzes next to me.

Austin: just downed some instant noodles. Eli's still out. I'm gonna try to sleep xx

He sends a picture of a sleeping Elias. I smile. The picture doesn't even move, and I can still tell Elias is snoring.

Jace scoots closer, resting his head on my shoulder. His eyes are shut. I turn to my side. Or, I try to. My legs can't find room to spread. I eye Cody. I slide my legs around him, so they stick out from the sheets. My feet are cold, but at least the dog can sleep in peace.

"It's her birthday."

My eyes go big. I pull away from Jace so I can look at him. "What? Today?"

I knew Lucy's birthday was coming up in January. I just hadn't figured it'd be on the actual first day of the month. Of the year.

Jace nods his head against his pillow. "Her favorite movie is Indiana Jones. My family and I watch it every New Year's Eve, exactly at midnight. I've never missed a year before." His voice is strained. It's hard to hear. Jace never really showcases his pain, but when he does, I feel it along with him.

"You were gonna leave the party before midnight." I mutter. He'd told me he wasn't gonna stay until late. He stayed sober the entire night. But then everything with Elias happened.

"I'm glad I didn't, because at least Elias is okay. It just sucks for my grandpa, and Emma."

"You should tell them what happened. Your family isn't the type to spread stories around, anyhow. Just so they understand." I say. I let my fingers brush through his hair and fold an arm around his back. He presses his head down on my chest.

"You think Elias will want to take drugs again?"

"I don't know." Jace mumbles.

I press my lips together. "He was wasted. And high. But what if he wants to take drugs every time he's wasted? What if he craves it again? Maybe he won't remember throwing up and freezing to death. He'll just remember how good the drugs made him feel–"