Catchfly: Seeing Stars

Chapter 1: New Slang

September 2 – 6:57 PM

The moment I step into my dad's car, silence washes over me.

Levi's house in the rear-view mirror looks ominous, so large and dark behind me, while in front of me, the sun is setting, drawing beautiful colors in the sky. It feels like the world is trying to tell me something as I start the car and drive into the sunset, leaving the house behind me. Eyes on the front door. Waiting for him to run after me. He never lets me leave if he knows I'm upset. He can't stand it when conversations are left unfinished. I suppose that is exactly what we are.

Finished.

I wonder how he's feeling. Relieved, ecstatic, maybe. He could already be texting a football groupie to replace me with.

But I know Levi's not like that. His eyes couldn't stay dry the whole time he talked, it seemed hard for him to do. I didn't really understand what he was saying, or maybe I didn't want to. On my end, the feeling was there the first time I talked to him, at the first high school party I ever went to. The feeling was still there last week when he ran up the bleachers to hug me after he made the winning touchdown in a game against the Raleigh Lions.

I floor the gas pedal, knowing no one gets on these roads, anyhow. The horizon grows pink. So contrastingly beautiful to my hurting soul, tears roll down my face. I look to the rearview mirror again, hoping he followed me. But the empty road behind me tells me I am all alone.

A car honks, and I jump. I catch bright headlights before I yank on the steering wheel to straighten the car. Another vehicle speeds by me. I slow down, feeling my fingers quiver on the wheel. I'm ridding my eyes of tears when a shadow emerges from the side of the road. I slam my foot on the brakes. The tires shriek in sync with my voice. My head nearly smacks against the wheel when the car comes to an abrupt halt.

Big, unblinking eyes stare into the window. They seem to go straight to my soul. The sun beams above its head, glowing behind its antlers, like I'm watching something of a mythical creature. Completely frozen in place, we stare at each other. The deer on its guard. Probably wondering if the metal box is a threat. Meanwhile, I just gape at the biggest animal I've ever seen up-close, standing in the center of the road against the backdrop of a beautiful sunset.

Am I dreaming?

Its ears move down at the sound of another car, even if it's still at the end of the road. The deer hops away into the bushes. A shaky breath comes up my throat, my eyes frozen on the empty road. I could've hit it. I could've killed a creature so awing and at peace with nature because I was all up in my head about the fact that I've been dumped. That should be an offense. Like driving under the influence.

I roll the car to the side of the road and kill the engine. I reach for my phone. Avery's number is third on my list of favorites, right after my mom and dad. I put her there pretty much the day I got my first phone. Only now her contact name is just 'Avery' and back then it was 'Aves bffae <3333'.

"Hey!" She answers the phone cheerfully. I hear music and voices in the background. A few people from school are having a bonfire party at the beach, kind of a last hurray before Summer's officially gone. Avery'd asked me to come with her and the guys, but I thought Levi and I were having a cozy night in. All day I was thinking what movie would be fun to watch, while Levi himself was thinking what break-up tactic would be fun to use.

My conclusion was The Pursuit of Happyness, because I remembered how much he loves Will Smith as an actor.

His conclusion was explaining why he didn't love me anymore, because he remembered how much I love crying.