𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐙𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐡

Chapter 49

Higher- Rihanna

Zaliah pov
❁❁❁

The sky looks different when you know someone you love is looking down at you.

Lottie Lively.

The name of my best friend. The girl who understood me when no one else could. The girl who also helped me get through a really rough time.

She was supposed to make it. when she got out she was supposed to have a life: she was supposed to be free... I guess we're never really free from our past.

"Zaliah" bringing myself out of my thoughts I looked over at Marcelo. He was still dressed in a black sweater and slacks. I looked at him to see what he wanted but he motioned to the sink. "You've been washing your hands for ten minutes."

Oh...

Turning off the faucet I wiped my hands off on the towel. Today was her funeral. It's been a week since she died. We planned a nice reception for her. We tried to invite her relatives but none showed up.

Daisy arranged the flowers and the ceremony. It was truly beautiful. We all wore

Looking in the mirror for the first time in a while. I didn't look beautiful. I looked tired. Even with makeup on I can still see the tired bags under my eyes.

Sylvia took it the hardest. She's been having panic attacks and nightmares. So me and Daisy take turns watching over her at night.

Taking a makeup wipe I began going over my face. I looked over at Marcelo. "Do you know what time you'll come home tonight?" He asked.

I've noticed lately he's been treading lightly. He doesn't get all over protective when I randomly have to leave or help with Sylvia.. he just understands.

At night when my emotions overwhelm me and I begin crying he would just hold me without saying a word.

It's a different feeling having someone you can share your emotions with.

It makes it more bearable.

"I shouldn't be long. Sylvia just wanted to talk to us." I took my braids out of the high ponytail I had them in. Feeling instant relief of the pressure.

Taking a pump of moisture I started rubbing it into my face.

Marcelo leaned against the doorframe watching me. "What can I do to help with the pain?" He asked abruptly. My throat began to feel thick.

You know when you're already on the brink of tears and someone asks 'are you okay?'

I shrugged. "I'm okay."

"She was your best friend, Tesoro." I nodded with a 'Mhm' sound.

"She was.."

"-And she killed herself in front of you." Closing my eyes the imaginary came flying in. The way she whispered she loved us before her guts were splattered over us.

The way her body was washed away by the water. Or the loud screams of Sylvia ringing in my ear.

"Way to make me cry." I let out a humorless chuckle as I wiped my tears. Looking down I watched as my tears fell on the counter.

Clair than Lottie.. it's a cycle.

Feeling his arms wrap around me I lean back into his comforting touch. "Don't look at me. I'm an ugly crier." I wiped my face.

"I know." He whispered in the crook of my neck. Letting out a small chuckle I began taking deep breaths.

"It's okay to be sad about it. It's also okay to be content about it. Y'all gave her the best chance at life. When everyone gave up on them you and Daisy didn't and that was enough." Turning my head I looked at Marcelo through the mirror.

He's right..

*

Opening the door I was shocked by how quiet it was. "Syl-" Daisy rounded the corner. Her face fel when she saw me. Her eyes were red. She's been crying just as much as I have.

"Where's Sylvia?" I asked, closing the door behind me.

Daisy walked out to me with shaky hands as he handed me a pink folded paper.

Taking the paper in my hands I began unraveling it.

Dear Sisters,
I can't stay here. I can't sleep here. I can't live here. Memories of her dying keep replaying in my head like a broken record. . I'm so so sorry. Please don't try to look for me. I don't want to be found.
Please move on and enjoy life. Don't let us weigh you down. Live for Lottie... Live for me. I love you girls so much. Thank you for showing me what family really means. The way you took us in and loved me beyond my flaws is more than I could ever ask for. Love you girls.. my sisters.
P.S I'm not going to kill myself. Lol.- Sylvia.

The note trembled in my hands as I folded it back up. Looking up from the note I looked at Daisy. "We did the best we could've Z" her voice shook before she wrapped her arms around me.

Letting out all the bottled emotions we held each other and cried. Differences aside.

I was losing my girls. I understood Sylvia. More than she would ever know.

I understood why she had to leave.