𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐙𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐡

Chapter 36

Suggestions- Orelia Has Orchestra
Zaliah pov
❁❁❁

Of course I'm a chicken.

I waited five hours before going outside. By now it was getting dark outside. Taking a deep breath I opened the car door and he was sleep. Like completely knocked out his head to the side as his glasses was almost falling off his face.

"Marcelo." I tried to wake him up without touching him. I have no idea how he's going to wake up. "Marcelooo" i decided to pat his face. His eyes shot open. "Tesoro." He mumbled sleepily.

"Can we talk?" I sat back in the seat. He nodded adjusting his glasses. I'm guessing he was reading.

"Lemon. Okay?" He nodded anticipating what I'm going to say. I turned towards him. "After I tell you I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to cry. I just want you to know what parts you are loving okay?" I know it don't define me but it kinda does.

In a way I'd always be that girl on that couch.

He nodded, not saying anything because, lemon.

"When I went to my dealers to get more pills... they drugged me with fentanyl" I couldn't look at him so I looked away. I don't want to see the disgusted look. "And took advantage of me. They were supposed to kill me by Raven orders but after the last one had their turn with me they tried but as you see I'm still here." I let out a humorless chuckle.

"That night when I got home my dad yelled at me for some stupid shit. It didn't dawn on me that he knew. I mean who would be okay with their daughter being raped? Obviously my father. So I went upstairs. I practically begged for someone to ask me if I was okay.. but nothing. I waited for someone to hear my cries, for my dad to just apologize."

I noticed a rain drop on the windshield. A light drizzle. "I stabbed myself" I looked down blinking the tears away. He didn't say anything as his hand lifted my shirt he placed his hand on the scar. Basically asking if that's it. All I did was nod blinking the tears away.

"Um." I sniffled trying to get it togheter. "So my dad sent me to Mercy. The asylum. He admitted me." Marcelo's hand fell from my stomach holding my hand. I stared down at his tattooed hand. Tracing the ink with my finger. "I met your sister at Mercy. She was my nurse then my therapist. We had a little thing but it wasn't anything big."

"That's where I met the girls.. my family." I stared out the window to see Daisy staring out the window. I could see her messing with the ends of her hair. I know she can't see much because of the tinted windows.

She's nervous.

"I feel a certain way about myself.. since the thing. So in Mercy I was reckless. Giving up my body to men for a blunt, or even a gram. Giving up my body for out privileges." I shrugged pursing my lips.

"I don't expect you to stay.. I'm shattered. I'm a fucking a mess and I can't let you love me because it'll hurt when you up and stop loving me one day. No matter how much I love you. I also can't expect you to love me if I can barely love myself."

I don't want to say lemon. I don't want him to tell me how damaged I am. Marcelo tugged on my hand. I still can't look at him. His fingers cupped my chin forcing me to look at him.

His eyes were soft and a bit watery. I don't want him to cry for me. He raised his eyebrows telling me to say lemon. I shook my head and he nodded. This went on forever.

"Fine. Lemon." A small smile was on his face. "I still love you tesoro. Even if you don't love yourself, We'll work on it. Until then I'll love you enough for the both of us."

I frowned. "When we first met you asked me if I was pure.."

"I was stupid. I was intimidated by you Tesoro. I wanted control over you and it wasn't right. It's never right to want control over someone." He paused for a minute "I'm going to kill your father Tesoro." He was telling me not asking me.