Yes, Maybe, No | BakuDeku ✔

chapter-39

"Am I auto-sabotaging myself? Do I want to cheat on Katsuki because he's too good for me? Am I that broken to think that I should've cheated on my boyfriend?" Izuku's voice trembled with each word, his anguish palpable as he voiced his inner turmoil.

"Hey, stop it. Stop pitting yourself and drink the damn Advil," Todoroki's tone was firm, his frustration evident as he practically shoved the drink and pill towards Izuku's face. He couldn't bear to see his friend wallow in self-pity any longer.

Izuku accepted the offered glass slowly, his movements appearing sluggish. With trembling hands, he brought the glass to his lips and swallowed the pill, feeling the bitter taste linger on his tongue. He wiped the tears and mucus with his sleeve and felt ashamed of his vulnerability.

"Izuku, you deserve everything good in this world because you have a kind heart, and I truly love you for that," Todoroki's voice softened as he spoke to his friend. He felt the heavy silence in the room as he watched Izuku curl up on the couch. "I know you had a tough start in life, but that doesn't mean it will always be that way," he continued, looking directly into Izuku's eyes and encouraging him.

"If you're feeling depressed, then you need to start by addressing the thoughts in your head," said Todoroki gently yet firmly, meeting Izuku's eyes with determination. "Begin your day by telling yourself that today will be a good day, where you can do things to help you love yourself and your boyfriend truly, whoever he may be. I offer you words of guidance and encouragement." With a reassuring pat on Izuku's leg, he silently urged him to shake off the negativity before it consumed him.

Izuku slumped his shoulders, his eyes clouded with doubt and pain. It was clear that he was struggling internally. He spoke barely above a whisper, "I want to believe that," he said, "but it's so hard." He hesitated momentarily before continuing, "Whenever I try to be positive, I feel like I'm just fooling myself. Like I'm pretending to be someone I'm not." He shook his head slowly, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. "It's just that I've been through so much, and it's hard to shake off the feeling that I'm not deserving of happiness. I know that sounds defeatist, but it's how I feel. How can I expect to find happiness when I can't even convince myself that I deserve it?"

Todoroki had a sympathetic expression as he listened attentively to Izuku. He stepped closer, placing his hand gently on Izuku's shoulder. "I know it's difficult, Zuku," he spoke softly. "But you're not alone in this. You have people who care about you and want to see you happy. And remember, finding happiness is a journey, not a destination." He paused for a moment, his voice filled with sincerity. "You deserve to be happy, Zuks. You're worthy of love and joy, and I'll be here every step of the way to support you."

Todoroki, with a keen eye, noticed the faint glimmer of hope in Izuku's eyes as he wrapped his strong arms around him in a comforting embrace. They shared a tight hug, a moment of solace amidst their turmoil, as they found comfort in each other's presence. Just as they began to ease into the embrace, the doorbell rang, interrupting their moment of connection. Todoroki gently released Izuku and kissed his forehead reassuringly before crossing the room to answer the door, his heart heavy with the weight of their shared troubles.

As he swung the door open, Todoroki's gaze fell on a visibly anxious Katsuki standing on the threshold. Beads of sweat dotted Katsuki's forehead, and his breaths came in uneven gasps as he struggled to catch his breath. Todoroki's expression softened with concern as he took in Katsuki's state, his mind racing with worry and concern for his friend.

Katsuki's voice was laced with anxiety as he asked Todorki, "Where is he?" The urgency in his tone was palpable, and he was about to shove Todorki out of the way to search every corner of the apartment for his boyfriend. However, he managed to control himself when he peeked over Todorki's shoulder and saw the familiar green head sitting on the couch, facing the television. Relief washed over him as he realized his boyfriend was safe and sound, and he sighed deeply.