Lyssa's Poem Book

Non-Functional

Too many thoughts I can't express

Too many emotions killing my mind

Too many dreams that can't come true

Too many lies

Too many cries

Too many times

Someone pick me up, I've fallen too deep

My health isn't manageable anymore

I'll die before I can get what I need

I might as well stop wanting to be happy

What is that smile for?

Don't pretend I'm gonna be okay

I'm sick of the imagining

Because it doesn't solve a thing

Saying "but maybe that's not what will happen"

You don't know my enemies like I do

I know it won't go my way

I know I can't be who I wish I could be

It's a myth you keep creating

Don't tell me I can do what I want

I can only do what I'm forced into

There's no point in denying it anymore

I swear it won't get me anywhere

There's no healing in wishing it didn't have to be like this

So I guess I'll say it's how it's supposed to be

I guess I'll say your pain hurts worse

When it's only a fraction of what I'm feeling

I guess I'll hide everything that matters

Because what does it even matter?

Nobody looks at me with empathy

Not in reality

Nobody wants me around

Not when I can be

Nobody has seen me and known about the spark that faded

Nobody can save me

I'm too far away

Nobody can love me

Not in the same way

Nobody can understand what I think lately

And no one can know how the little things tear me apart

I want to be stronger

But I just wasn't made that way

No, nothing is really okay

But it guess that just has to be okay.