Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish

I could never leave you

I could see everything that was happening. I could see my lifeless body beneath me. I could see my family in the hallway. I could see Ava. My poor sweet Ava. She was on her knees in the hallway, breaking down crying while my brother held her. I went over to her and held my hand against her cheek, looking into her eyes. She stared directly at me, but I knew she couldn't see me. I felt pain and guilt rise in my chest. I could see the pain behind her eyes. I wish I could just hold her, let her cry it out on my shoulder like usual.

I looked around and looked back at my lifeless body, the long feel from the machine still rang through my ears. I couldn't leave her. I couldn't let that happen. I took everything in me and made my way back to myself. There had to be a way, I couldn't just die, I needed another chance. I touched my hand and watched as my "ghost" self disappeared into my real self. Was it possible for me to have another chance?

I felt a strange force press against me as I slowly fell into my real body. My vision was black again as I was now back in my body. I had to try, I had to keep pushing. I tried every ounce of my efforts, only being able to use my mind, since the rest of me was practically dead. I had to come back, it seemed impossible, and maybe I needed a miracle, but I needed to come back for her.

In my mind I saw a white light and instead of going to it, I looked at it in fear. I knew what would happen to me if i walked towards it, I knew I would be gone forever. I did my best and ran from it as far as I could. I couldn't be gone now, I had to stay for my baby. I all of a sudden could hear the sounds of my surroundings once again. Except now, Ava was beside me, crying into the hand of mine that she held. I pushed again and this time it worked.

I couldn't see anything anymore, I knew I couldn't move yet, but I could hear a steady beep come from the machine.

Ava POV:

I was finally aloud to go into the room as the doctors knew she was gone. I ran to her and grabbed her hand, thinking for a moment maybe she was still there. She wasn't. I gripped her hand tightly and wept. I laid soft kisses on the top of her hand, wishing it would just move and hold my face like she normally would.  I felt so much pain inside, I didn't want to leave her, I dont know how I would go on with your her. She was my world, my everything. I was hoping someday we could get married and be together forever. One day when she did die, we would be old and I would die with her.

Her hand felt cold against my face, which made my heart break. She was still losing so much blood, but there was nothing anyone could do, she was already gone. I silently cried into the palm of her hand for minutes which felt like hours. It was silent in the room except for the long beep of the machine that seemed to drown out of my hearing.

All of my hope seemed gone until I heard a steady beep begin to form. My head shot up as a I looked up at billies face. Her face still looked lifeless but her chest slightly moved up and done, showing me that she was breathing. My heart began to race as I quickly stood up and called for a nurse. "Nurse! Doctor! Someone! Help please!"

A few doctors came rushing in observing what was going on. They looked to Billie and immediately rushed to her aid. I watched as they pressed firmly on the wound once again stopping any more blood from coming out. A nurse had come in and she was asking if me and Finneas would leave. "Wait no please!" I didn't get the chance to even stay as we were now in the hallway and the door to the room was shut.

Me and Finneas made our ways to the waiting room and he sat down. I couldn't sit, instead I paced around the room anxiously waiting till I could see her. Minutes felt like hours and I didn't want to keep waiting. "AVA!" My head snapped to Finneas. I looked at him shocked from the way he yelled at me. Apparently he had been trying to get my attention but my mind was so distracted I couldn't hear him.

"I need you to calm down, okay?" He looked at me calmly. "I cant! I need to see her, I- I c-can't.. " I felt tears begin to stream down my face from being so stressed. I looked to Finneas who had opened his arms out for me. I walked towards him and sat in his lap and cried into his shoulder as he rubbed my back slowly. "Its gonna be okay.." I whispered to me. "T-thank you fin.."

A few hours had went by and finneas had fallen asleep with his head on my shoulder. I felt my eyes grow heavy until a nurse suddenly walked in. "Ava..?" She looked towards me and I sat up, making Finneas stir. "Is Billie alright?" I say slightly panicked. "I'm glad to say that ive never seen anything like this, shut she pulled through. Must have been some kind of miracle but she's going to be okay. She did lose a lot of blood however, but the doctors removed the bullet and fixed her up, so she did stop bleeding. She is attached to an IV and a blood bag right now to help her blood level go back to normal. She should be waking up now so if you would like you are free to see her."

My eyes filled with tears and I hugged the nurse unexpectedly. "Thank you!" Happy tears spilled from my eyes as the nurse was shocked but hugged me back. I let go of her and smiled before running down the hallway towards billies room. I slowed down before entering her room and making my way to the side of her bed. "Billie...?" I said quietly while studying her face. I watched as she stirred around for a moment before her eyelids slightly opened.

"Ava...?" I couldn't help but let a smile spread across my face as tears fell, down my cheeks. "Billie!" I wrapped my arms around her quickly but gently as I sobbed into her arms. "I-I thought I lost y-you!" I said between sobs. "I could never leave you baby..."

Billie POV:

I missed her warmth against me like this. I held her as tight as I could. I couldn't help but feel tears escape my eyes. "I'm so sorry if I scared you baby.." She lifted her head and placed her hands on my cheeks. "Please Billie dont ever be sorry for this! If anything im sorry, I wish I got down there sooner. But you're okay, and you have no reason to be sorry." I nodded as she stared into my eyes. She pulled my fave close to hers and pushed out lips together. I closed my eyes missing he feeling of her beautiful lips.

We just stayed like that. We slowly moved our lips together out of pure love, nothing else. We eventually pulled apart and we just stared at each other with half lidded eyes. "Promise me you will never leave me again.." I raised my hand and tangled my fingers through her hair. "I promise." She smiled and rested her forehead on mine.

I moved away from her and moved closer to the side of the bed. "Come lay with me baby." I patted the bed beside me and she crawled in beside. She laid her head on my arm while I wrapped my other arm around her. She nuzzled her face in the crook of my neck as I held her tightly. She closed her eyes and her breathing grew heavy. I knew she wasn't able to sleep before, but now she was in my arms and she knew I was safe, she could now sleep with me and my warmth against her.

I sighed and took in her scent. I felt myself become sleepy as I slowly began to doze off after whispering against her head.

"I promise I will always love you."
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A/N
So she's alive!!!! Yay the next chapter is gonna be so filled so with pure love its going to make your heart melt😊😭❤ thanks for reading

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