Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish

I'm sorry...

I stood staring off into the distance. I could hear the sounds of my car running and the breeze flowing through my hair. The cool breeze stung at my ears and nose, I would say it was making my eyes water, but that's not why they were crying. I think I fully broke. My eyes stung from the pain hiding behind them. I couldn't do this anymore, I'm giving up. 

I had hurt her, I did exactly what I didn't want to do. the one thing I was scared of doing. Last time I saw her she was crying and upset, yelling at me to get out. She hated me, I don't blame her. I knew someday this day would come. I knew I would eventually break, never be able to heal again.

I took a step forward and stared down below me. I watched the so called 'fans' stare up at me. each one of them had their phones out recording whatever I was going to do next. Not even them could stop me. Nothing could. Not even her. I closed my eyes giving myself a moment to bring up any possible positive thoughts. Nothing.

I heard a car pull up behind me, but I didn't bother to move. 

"Billie!"

I heard someone yell behind me, immediately recognizing the voice. I slowly turned around to see Ava in front of me. I was expecting a possible hug or her tell me not to do this. I was wrong. 

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? You're so dramatic! Always playing poor me, This is so unnecessary! You hurt me, and acting like this, is not helping you! You just feel bad for yourself, Pity party for Billie... Just get down from there!"

I felt pain tug at my chest. She really did hate me. I knew this would happen, I knew I would fuck everything up, but I knew I was gonna do this to myself. I didn't deserve to keep going, I didn't deserve it when I make people feel like this, especially since I hurt her. 

I turned back around and stared up at the sky. I felt tears stream down my face as my heart ached. Memories and thoughts fled through my mind before everything went blank. I felt numb. I closed my eyes and leaned closer to the edge.

"I'm sorry..." I mumbled towards Ava, before letting myself go.

I watched them all stare up at me. I felt the cold dark air swirl around me and heard muffled screams. Before everything went black. 

I had a dream... I got Everything I Wanted...

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A/N

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429 words