Everything I Wanted // Billie Eilish

Hang on

I got Everything I Wanted...

Ava POV

I watched Billies eyes shut slowly and her body become limp. My heartbeat out of my chest as my hands began to shake. This wasn't happening, this wasn't true. Maybe this was a dream? No, it was too real to be a dream. My heart ached and tears streamed down my face. I was sobbing uncontrollably while lightly shaking Billie.

"Billie! Billie please! Wake up baby please..." I hugged her tightly before placing her down and immediatly pulling out my phone. I dialed 911 and waited for the operator to pick up.

"911 what's your emergency?"

"My girlfriend is bleeding out on the floor and she's unconscious and she won't wake up!" I tried my best to talk between sobs.

"Ambulance is on there way." I put down my phone and held Billie in my arms again. I grabbed another cloth that was on the floor and tide it tightly around her arm, trying my best to possibly cut off the blood flow. There was blood everywhere, all over the floor, all over her, and all over me. I rested my face on her head, nuzzling my face in her sweet smelling hair.

I brought one of my hands to her head and tangled my fingers in her green roots. I sobbed as I played with her soft hair. I couldn't lose her, I couldn't. "Hang on Billie, please just hang on. Hang on for me please... I can't lose you..." 

I held her tightly before the paramedics burst in, pulling me away from her. They laid her onto a stretcher and carried her out. They placed her in the ambulance and tried to shut the door.

"Stop! Im coming with, I'm not leaving her."

"Ma'am you're gonna have to-"

"No! Im staying with her I don't care!" I felt tears start to stream down my face again. I stared at the paramedics as they looked at eachother. They finally decided to wave me in as they shut the doors. I sat down beside Billie and squeezed her hand tightly. The paramedics attached a bunch of tubes and cords around her arms and chest. I looked over to the heart monitor and felt a little bit of relief since her heart was still beating. I leaned my head down and whispered in her ear. "You're gonna be okay... I'm here..."

The relief I was feeling didn't last long when I heard a long eary beep come from the monitor. My heart sank and I looked to Billie with fear in my eyes. I held her hand tighter and kept crying. She was losing too much blood. The paramedics were scurrying around the shelves of the ambulance trying to help her. I watched as one of them got out a bag of blood and started to connect the tube to Billie. The other was getting ready to shock Billie to get her heart going again.

She was still flattlining as the blood was slowly entering her system. The one paramedic shouted 'clear' and I quickly ripped my hand away. The first time, nothing. I held my hands together praying for her to come back to me. The second time, nothing. I sobbed into my hands at the thought of her really being gone. They did it one last time and I thought she was really gone, until a slow steady heartbeat came up on the monitor.

I felt a little hope rise through me as she was still alive. The paramedics wrapped actual bandages around her wounds, and they tide a tube around the top of her arm to stop the bleeding. The new blood they were putting in her was slowly getting her blood flow back to normal. 

"She's still unconscious for now do to the lack of blood, but when she gets to the hospital they'll put stitches in her arm and put proper bandages on. Once she has enough blood in her system she should be waking up."

I nodded slowly as tears fell down my face. Except these tears weren't sad tears, these were semi happy tears. She was alive, she was going to be okay. I gripped her hand once again as we made our way to the hospital. Once we arrived I stepped out and they rolled Billie in through the emergency doors. 

After a few minutes of following around and waiting, we ended up in a room. I sat down in a chair off to the side as a doctor worked on getting her set up to the medical things. Only reason I was off to the side is because I was in their way if I was standing with her the whole time. They had her hooked up to an IV and a blood bag which got her blood back to its normal capacity.

I waited for what felt like hours as they slowly stitched her up and wrapped her arm in bandages. The doctor eventually finished up and left. I stood up and went to the side of her bed. I reached for her hand and held it softly as I stared at her. I brought it to my lips and left a soft kiss on it. It made me feel sad that she went and did this to herself. She didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve any of this. I wish she could feel that herself. I wish she knew how much she meant to the people around her. Especially how much she meant to me. I don't know what I'd do without her. I loved her more than life itself. If I could change the way that she sees herself, she wouldn't wonder why she's here. Nobody deserves her.

I sat there quietly for possibly an hour. I had been sitting in a chair next to her bed, and rested my head on her hand. I felt like I was about to doze off before I felt a little bit of movement from the hand I was holding. I quickly lifted my head and stared up at Billie. Her eyebrows furrowed together as she tried her hardest to open her eyes. She eventually did and looked up at me. I felt tears spill down my cheeks in happiness. 

"Ava..." I sat up and wrapped my arms around her, sobbing into her shoulder. "You're okay... I love you so much Billie. Please, please don't ever do this to me again..." I felt my shoulder become slightly wet from the tears Billie was crying. She let go of me and looked into my eyes. "I'm so sorry ava... I never meant for any of this to happen... I let myself spiral and I didn't think about how much I'd be hurting you if I left. But im okay, my mental health is really bad, but I'm okay. I love you so much. Without you I deffinetly wouldn't  be alive right now..." tears spilled down her cheeks as she pressed her hand agasint my cheek.

She pulled my face closer to hers and gave me a deep passionate kiss. We held it for as long as we could not ever wanted to let go of eachother again. We had to end the kiss once the nurse walked in.

"Oh hello, you're awake!" She smiled excitedly. She walked over to the side of the bed and pressed a few random buttons on the machine. "You're not gonna be staying here for too long dont worry, you can probable go home tonight, we just need to make sure everything okay and that we get some nutrition in you." We both nodded slowly as the nurse handed Billie a cookie and some juice. "This will hold you over for now, but dinner is on its way." She smiled as she left the room.

I looked over to Billie who had began nibbling on her cookie. I still held her hand and looked her up and down. She was safe, she was with me. I wasn't going to let her do this again, I couldn't. She needed me. I remembered what she said to me earlier before she went unconscious. I was the reason she didn't take her life. I was the one who she thought about before changing her mind. If that's what she thought of me, then I would always be there for her, no matter what. 

I loved her, and she loved me. We were here together, she was okay.

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A/N

She's okay guys dwww :) btw If I sound dumb tryna explain the hospital stuff my bad... Im not good with that kind of stuff.

Anyway hope u enjoyed :)

I'll update soon.

1425 words