serendipity | completed

chapter 11

4:00 pm
" kim taehyung "

keeping my knowledge of y/n's cancer private has been such a struggle. i know that when she says she's going out to run errands or shop or just get a "breath of fresh air" that she's at another appointment.

i feel useless. i know she is sick, but i don't know what i could possibly do to help. i've been waiting for weeks on end for her to finally tell me the truth; if i hadn't known on behalf of my own snooping curiosity, would she pass without ever letting me know?

i love her, and i can't simply imagine what life would be without her.

i continue to swipe on my phone, looking for expensive hotels or nice air bnbs that we could stay in on the weekend of her sister's wedding, all while these thoughts roamed my head. i wonder what she was doing right now. is she sleeping? is she cleaning? maybe she's just busy.

i go back to our messages and see that i'm still on delivered. my finger hovers above the call button ready to press down, but my door is opened then shut behind me. i spin around and to my dismay stands rey. her eyes are teary and her bottom lip is sucked in as an attempt to hold herself from crying.

i stand up slowly and tuck my phone away into my back pocket. "rey what are you-"

"she's gone, taebear." she croaks out and lunges towards me wrapping her thin arms around my neck and burying her face into my chest. "who's gone, rey?" she pulls back but her arms still linger on my shoulders and her fingers are still latched together resting on the back of my neck.

"my aunt. you remember, right? the one i told you fell ill."

she had told me about her sick aunt after one of those nights we had together. we were laying in bed and she began to vent about all the things in her life. i tried to block them out to the best of my abilities but clearly i didn't do too well at that.

"tae say something, please..." i hadn't realized my focus was on my needle which still sat on the metal tray on my chair. i look back into her soft and glossy eyes before swallowing gently. "im sorry, rey." at those words she breaks down again and rests her forehead on my chest.

i finally wrap my arms around her and try to be of some sort of comfort. i gently rub her back and allow her to slowly drench a spot on my shirt with her tears. once again she pulls away and stares into my eyes, the corners of her lips slowly turning up again.

"i miss you taebear. i miss what we had and i miss how you used to hold me." part of me feels bad and not only because of the loss she's experiencing, but because of the fact that i don't reciprocate these feelings at all. i've never been the type of guy to just use girls and not care about their feelings, but rey was an unconscious decision.

i thought that us hooking up without the feelings were mutual, but from the looks of it her feelings were one hundred percent involved. "rey-" i begin to say but im cut off as her lips fall upon mine. i kiss back for a short second but then i remember her.

i softly push her away and take a step back. "rey i'm sorry for your loss. i will be here for you, but only as a friend." she buries her hands deep in her dark brown hair and looks down at the floor. she takes a deep breath in and then out and looks up at me with a smile. "this... this is so embarrassing."

she lets out a small chuckle and i can tell it's a terrible attempt at distracting herself from the utter amount of unease she felt. "it's her isn't it?" my eyebrows furrow.