The hidden Stark (Loki x fem!reader)

Part 22 flashbacks

At first I thought that having Loki around the tower was going to be fun and adventurous, but it turns out that he is more of a quiet person who sits around, doesn't talk much and reads the whole day. So as a result I tried unsuccessfully to talk to him, but unfortunately he didn't seems to be in a talkative mood. So I just sit there zoning out and from him to time I looked around the room.

When the sun began to settle down an the whole room started to get colored in a warm red and a deep orange, I let out long yawn. I stretched out my arms and legs and stood up. I slowly walked over to Loki, who still had his nose deep buried into his book. When I stood in front of him, he looked up. At first his face was dark but when he saw that it was me, his gaze softened. I asked him carefully how he was feeling on his first hours in freedom. He told me that he was quite bored and didn't seem to find something entertaining for the time. To that I offered him to show him around as the first time in the morning.

He thanked me kindly for my offer and then asked me what I was going to do. I scratched the back of my head, feeling a bit uncertain on how to answer that question, because I didn't quite know it myself. "Well actually I don't quite know it myself, hehe" I laughed awkwardly. He smiled kindly at me and looked back down to his book, clearly uncertain about what to do in this situation. "I guess I just go grab something to drink and head back to my room. If you need anything or have a question you are more than welcome to ask me" I told him and went to the kitchen to get my drink.

After I grabbed a white monster out of the fridge, I made my way over to the elevator. At first my guess was to go to my room and chill, but then the images off Loki in all off this chains brought back a lot of terrible memories. The pain the beatings and all the other torture. So instead of tapping on the floor where my room is located, I tapped on the floor where the gym is. Luckily the ride was quick because a lot of memories came rushing back into my mind. I knew that if I didn't exercise right now I feared that I would get crazy.

I stumbled out of the elevator as soon as the steel door opened. Right in the huge space in the center of the gym floor, is an area located where punching bags are hanging from the ceiling. I forced myself to put all of my focus away from my surroundings and towards the punching bag. I skipped wrapping my hand because I needed to blow off some steam as fast as possible. The moment I landed my first punch on the bag I felt a slight sense of release. That only last for about a split second until the next flash popped into my mind.

I didn't know for how long I was punching this bag, but at some point my legs gave in and I collapsed onto the ground. Since I couldn't hold my emotion back any longer I broke down crying and sobbing into my hands. I felt a warm liquid making its way through my fingers and drooling onto the ground but I didn't care. I was too consumed with my past and what terrors I had experienced.

I had zoned out completely and didn't noticed a robotic voice asking me if I needed help, nor did I hear JARVIS calling Tony and Steve for help. I was trapped into my own mind and it felt like hell, there seems to be no escape, not this time. I felt anger,  fear and numbness at the same time. At that moment I wanted nothing but scream but my voice was muted,  so sound besides my sobs left my mouth.

I could faintly feel big strong arms around my body pulling me and carrying elsewhere. I continued to cry and mumble incoherently words and pieces of a sentence. And then all of a sudden I felt myself getting really tired and my eye lids getting more and more heavy until they closed themself involuntarily.

———

"Ugh" I groaned as I squinted my eyes together trying to let them adjust to the lights. "Oh god kiddo, you're awake. How are you feeling ? You gave us quite the scare." Tony sighted in relieve while he hurries over to my side, followed by Steve and Bruce. "What happened and why am I here?" I asked anxiously. "Well funny story because we actually what'd to get that kind of answers from you Aria" Tony said laughing awkward.

I slowly started to explain what I thought was the easiest way to them, while choosing my words carefully. I told them that I went to the gym to get my mind off of some things and to blow off some steam and that I got carried away with my emotions. I started to feel some tears started to build up, so I gulped down the lump in my throat and carried on. I told them that some memories came up that's why I was crying. When I was done telling them, they all looked at me with sorrow and sympathy in their eyes. "But that still doesn't explain why wee had to bandage both of your hands to stopp the bleeding on your knuckles" Bruce mentioned concerned.

I was so shocked and looked down at my hands. I had white bandages on both off my hands. "I'm sorry. i. Must've forget to do that. It won't happen again" I mumbled while keeping my head down. I didn't wanted to let them see my tears again. "It's okay Aria. We were just worried. Look I carried you here and you were crying and not responding to any of us calling your name. We thought that something terrible has happened to you. And don't worry we aren't mad at all" Steve said to me in a low and soothing tone.

I slowly looked up with tears now glistening in my eyes, clearly being touched by his kind words. "Okay but trust me it won't happen again, I promise" I smiled weakly. He gave me a sight hug, which I gratefully excepted. After he released me from the hug there was still one question left to ask. They wanted to know what exactly got me to the point where I broke down crying in the first place. I explained that for some reason I got triggered my the chains on Loki and that it remembered me on a lot of time during my childhood.

When they heard their eyes looked like they were in pain. They told me that they were so sorry and didn't knew that it was that bad and asked me if I wanted to talk about that any further. I told them that I don't what to that right now. So I thanked them,  said that I was fine, even though everyone in the room, including me, knew that this was a tremendous lie. But for now they dropped the topic and didn't asked me any further questions.

So for the next minutes the room was filled with and awkward silence until I audibly cleared my throat and asked them when I could leave, because I definitely wasn't found of spending the entire night in the med bay. After the three of them told me that they were still a bit concerned and a bit more pleading from me, I was able to go back to my room. But before I was out of the door I was again stopped my Bruce who told me to take it easy and that I could always come to them if I needed help or just someone to talk too. I promised that I wound to that, thanked them again and went back to my room.

So back in my room I laid down on my bed. I didn't bothered to change and just stared at the ceiling. Pictures and scenes of my past experiences came back into my mind and I started to silently cry again, letting all of it out. I didn't know what time it was nor did I care about that right know.  And for some reason it felt good to let it all out so eventually I fall asleep while crying my heart out.

A/N  Sorry that this chapter has a little less Loki content, but i still hope you like reading it. From now it will be having more of the previously mentioned mental health topics in it, but also more Loki. So if you like it please vote and feel free to comment