Waiting for War

Katie

I don't want to get up, but I do because I see him every time I close my eyes. His body dissolving into ash right in front of me. It haunts me, it's inside my head. I would much rather die than watch them all die around me.

"Katie, the shuttle ride is tonight," Amy is looking up at the ceiling in the bed next to me. She's been as blank as I have all summer. Her parents haven't been though. They are loud and talk avidly about my mother. About my mother coming back. About her coming back to save everyone. If that's even what she's here to do. I know my mom didn't condemn this world, but in leaving she condemned this wretched place to her sister. The sister who's daughter is trying to kill me for revenge. The worse part is that I thought we were friends.

Not to mention the others I thought were my friends too. I always knew it might be this way, but I didn't think it would be so many of them. I can't keep my head on straight with who wants me dead and who wants me alive. At some point, it feels like they're right. Maybe it would be better if I died. Then I wouldn't have to feel this pain. The pain of death. Maybe I thought losing my family was bad, but this feels so much more tangible than a maybe I'll see them again. This is final. Terrence is dead. They killed him. Henry killed them. and they're going to do the same to me.

"Let's go somewhere Amy," I look her dead in the eye. She doesn't say anything for a moment and then she blinks.

"Is that safe, I just told you we leave tonight, what if someone tries to make it so you can't get to the shuttle," she shivers.

"Now you're being a worry wart, I can take them, I'd see them a mile away," I grin mischievously.

"But what if it's someone you haven't met before," Amy continues.

"Then I'll send a message back to their team from me, come get me," the words are cold. Amy blinks again.

"You're not scared of all the people trying to kill you?" Amy is confounded.

"I'm waiting for them to try to kill me, better they come to me than me to them, so I can kill them off a little at a time," I smile and shove a pair of jeans on.

"At least wear a power suit," Amy sounds nervous.

"You wear a power suit with me then," I grin. She sighs.

"Why not," she shrugs.

"So we're going out?" I smile, for what feels like the first time since he died.

"Okay fine, as long as we're back an hour before we leave for the shuttle," she grins.

"You bet," I grin even wider, throwing on a power suit and my outfit over it.

I'm so ready to be out of this space filled with my mother's name, the memories of Terrence dying, and my heart remembering last year when everything was less complicated.