Love, Blood and Wilderness | YELLOWJACKETS

Chapter 32

    I let myself heave sobs into Taissa's arms, unable to process what had just happened. I tried to dismiss the image of the lump of dead flesh and cartilage slipping out of Shauna's unconscious body. Misty had taken the deceased child out and had began sobbing before any of us had the opportunity to even look at it.

    I had made my way over to her, all hope and optimism disappearing into thin air. I fell to my knees and Nat and Lottie rushed over and held me as I sobbed in grief. Everyone cried and mourned the child that Shauna hadn't even laid eyes on yet.

    When she finally woke up, she was screaming and gasping in fright. She looked around the room, confused as to why we were all crying. Taissa revealed to her that the child didn't make it, but Shauna was so convinced that she had held and fed him, which I assumed she dreamt about. She had begged us to hear him, that he was crying, but the only sounds that could be heard were our weeps of lament.

    I had brought her upstairs, she refused to let the corpse of her fetus go. I laid her in the bed and did my best to comfort her. She still refused to believe that her baby was dead and recounted the dream that she had. As she told the story through long pauses and cries, I imagined exactly what had happened in her dream. I tried to think of the beautiful family that she thought of and my heart sunk as I mourned the fact that we would never get it.

    She refused to tell me the end of her dream, clearly too shaken up to explain it to me, so she turned to the wall and heaved into the body of her baby.

    So now, I cried in Taissa's arms and let myself express all of my sorrows for Shauna and I's family that would never be.

    "I know, I know, let it all out," Tai told me, rubbing my bad. I could feel her crying through her inconsistent shakes of her body.

    "I can't believe it, Tai," I sobbed, "I can't believe he didn't make it."

    "Know it's for the better, Taylor, it's for the better. He never would've survived here," Tai tried to convince me.

"I know, I know, but... God, he deserved a fucking chance."

    "I know, I know," Tai rubbed my back and we sank to the floor together.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

The days carried out slowly into one another. Tai and I would repeatedly check on Shauna, who hadn't moved in days. We tried to feed her with whatever we had and offered her water but she would often face the wall and not talk to us.

I spent my nights sleeping on the floor next to Shauna. Nat and Lottie would come in to check on me and ask if I needed company, but I felt guilty if I wasn't with Shauna. My back was so sore from sleeping on the wooden ground but I wouldn't disturb Shauna, who clearly needed space.

The flesh of her dead fetus was rotting in her arms, she treated it as if it were still her child. The room started to smell but no one had the heart to take it away from her.

It was early morning and I tossed and turned on the wooden floor. The door was creaked open and I could see everyone adjusting themselves, waking up. Taissa entered with a cup of water that had been boiled and cleaned from the night before and knelt next to me, in front of Shauna's bed.

"Are you okay?" Taissa asked me, empathetically. I nodded and stretched out my back, rising to my knees. Tai turned to Shauna, whose back faced us.

"You need to drink some water, Shauna. Come on. Just a little bit," Tai insisted, but Shauna wouldn't budge.

Tai looked at me, sadly, but I couldn't force Shauna to drink, I couldn't even force her to turn away from the wall.