Love, Blood and Wilderness | YELLOWJACKETS

Chapter 18

I watched Shauna from afar, who was wearing an oversized flannel as if she were trying to physically hide herself, skinning the bear and cutting it into pieces, blood splattered over her hands. The bruise that I gave her was still vastly purple and red, blemishing her porcelain skin.

Nat still hadn't arrived back and I was getting impatient, stirring in loneliness and agitation. I hated being alone, being left to my thoughts, left to my own mind which always caterwauled sounds that bounced around my skull when I was left to my own devices for too long.

    I took a deep breath and rolled my neck and approached Shauna and the mess that she was dealing with.

    "Hey," I said.

    She glimpsed at me for a mere second and dove back into slicing the animal.

    "Hey," she responded, blandly.

    "I just wanted to ask... are you okay?"

    She exhaled through her nose, clearly frustrated.

    "I dunno, my best friend won't talk to me, you fucked me in the God damn woods, I'm pregnant and then Lottie almost killed you."

    "What a list."

    She gave me a quick side eye and cut the flesh more aggressively.

    "I'm sorry," I corrected myself, "do you want me to talk to Jackie? I can explain the hickey."

    "No that's...," she sighed, "I'm just really fucking confused with my feelings right now okay?"

    "What, for Jackie?"

    "I... no...," she stammered.

    "Shauna, you can tell me. I mean, I'm also gay."

    "Don't say also."

    "So you still can't admit you're in love with Jackie?"

    "Shut the fuck up!"

    She held the knife up to me, not close enough to hurt me, but enough to make me feel threatened, and the image of Lottie's face flashed through my brain. My heart started to race and panic rushed through my bloodstream.

    Shauna, realizing what she had done, threw the knife down to the ground quickly.

    "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, fuck, are you okay? I'm so sorry."

    "I'm gonna go, good talk," I rushed away from her as quickly as I could, keeping my gaze down as I rushed back upstairs to the attic and let out a heartfelt sob, needing Natalie back in my presence.

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

Nat returned a little while later and held me in her arms as I kept crying. She would kiss my forehead every so often and wiped the tears from my face. The blonde cupped my cheek and rubbed it with the pad of her thumb.

"It's okay, Taylor, it's okay," she told me, "our stomachs will be full tonight and we'll make it through another few days."

I wasn't sure how many more days that I could take.

I had the thought of running through the woods until my legs gave out, I thought of swimming in the lake until my body froze from hypothermia, I thought of eating poisonous berries, but had always held onto that little flicker of hope that either Lottie or Nat had provided me, always clung to the idea that we would get out of the wilderness in just a few more days, I just had to be patient.

But the hope was fading, and the feelings that stirred within me were growing.

But I wouldn't leave Nat, I wouldn't leave Lottie, hell, I wouldn't even leave Shauna. As substantial of an impact that the wilderness had on me, love had a more significant one, and it was nearly impossible to defy.