Love, Blood and Wilderness | YELLOWJACKETS

Chapter 42

Nat allowed me my space and I stood with my thoughts.

We were at the point of being here where our relationships were turning strategic, and where surviving would not longer be improvised.

Nat loved me, I knew that. But now she was using me as part of her plan to keep the group intact. Nat was smart, she knew what was at risk and she knew that I played a key part at maintaining balance amongst the team. I admired her putting her leadership ahead of her feelings.

But while it was admirable, it was diminishing. Lottie loved me for me. Lottie wore her heart on her sleeve for me. But she wasn't smart about it. She believed she had the power of the Wilderness on her side and that nothing would happen as long as she had that going for her.

I didn't even want to get into Shauna.

It seemed like the obvious choice; date Nat, Nat creates a council, we implement a plan to survive the rest of the winter. Shauna doesn't get the title or the girl and Nat has power in numbers.

But Lottie. God, what would I do if I didn't have Lottie? Sure, Nat said she would be apart of the council she was scheming to create, but Lottie wouldn't be with me. It would be awkward, it would be uncomfortable, it would be...

... Well it would break both of our hearts.

"FUCK!" I shouted to nothing, my voice bouncing through the trees. But the world stayed still, despite how loud I screamed at it.

I re-entered the cave some minutes later to see everyone sitting on the ground, visibly frustrated. Ben was still not awake and there was unsaid tension about what the group wanted to do about him.

Lottie grinned at me as I walked in, Nat's face went heart. She was leaning against the cave wall, her arms crossed.

"Nat," Taissa spoke up, "Should we do our plan today like we said we were going to?"

Nat groaned, "Ben doesn't need to be searched for anymore."

"Well... No, but we could have people guarding and questioning him. Then we could assign more chores," Tai suggested.

Natalie was obviously weary from everything that had happened in the last few hours. She gazed at me with uncertainty, attempting to read my mind to try and see what I was thinking from her previous request.

    Nat was loyal, pragmatic, loving, soothing. But she was impatient.

    "I like that idea," Van agreed with Taissa upon hearing the silence.

No one spoke again. All that could be heard was the wind howling against the plane door. Nat gazed at me, unsure of what to do. She seemed so... dependent, which was really strange.

Lottie noticed the tension between us. She looked at Nat and I back and forth.

Shauna was glowering at me, but what was new?

"I guess the leader's out of ideas," she muttered.

Oh my God Shaun, when will you learn to shut up?

Natalie tore her state away from me and fronted Shauna.

"Say that again. I fucking dare you," Nat threatened.