Love, Blood and Wilderness | YELLOWJACKETS

Chapter 14

    The cabin had been gloomy and silent for days. No one felt like talking for a little while, unsure of what to say.

    I told Nat that I needed to be there for Lottie, that she could do whatever she wanted with whoever else, but I was obligated to help her.

    Disappointed, she allowed it, but hasn't spoken to me since. She's been off a lot with Travis, not wanting anything to do with me. I've noticed that the two of them return with hickeys wrapped around their necks, and while it stung, my priorities lay with Lottie.

    I slept next to her almost every night. Whenever she awoke with a nightmare, I was there to soothe her back to sleep.

    She wasn't doing well at first, in fact she barely said a word. But one night, she started a practice of telling me "I love you" before going to bed, and I was beyond blissful, given the circumstances.

    Throughout the days, we would take silent walks together, just holding hands, not saying a word. But eventually, we started to converse again.

    She would tell me about all of her favourite memories of Laura Lee in soccer and in school and I happily listened, offering some of my own stories, which she appreciated greatly. I noticed that was doing a lot better with my help. But Natalie was doing worse.

   We were on another one of our walks, holding hands, like we always did, and she stopped suddenly and turned to face me.

    "Taylor...," Lottie began, "I know that I haven't been easy... I know that taking care of me can be draining and I should ask you something I should've asked you a long time ago... Are you doing okay?"

    My heart fluttered. This is what I've been waiting for, what I've been yearning. I just wanted some reassurance from her, some note that she really cared about my well being, and she did. She's been struggling, but she was looking out for me, just in her own way.

"I'm better now that we're talking again," I confessed, "I really missed you."

"Nat wasn't enough company for you?"

My heart sunk. I felt so awful, but it wasn't like I was fucking Lottie and forgetting about Nat, I was just helping Lottie. Obviously I loved her so much still and my feelings weren't gonna go away, and Nat knew that, but I could understand why she was hurt.

"She's great company, actually," I defended her, "and she was there for me."

Lottie frowned, "you're right, I'm sorry. I just hated seeing you with someone else."

"I know, but I hope you know that I'm not ditching Nat or anything because I'm here now."

    I know that wasn't the answer that Lottie was hoping for, but she knew that there wasn't any changing my mind.

    "I, uh, I know."

    "Is that okay?"

    "Yeah, it's fine. I guess that just means we'll be competing huh?"

    "There's no competition, Lottie," I stressed to her.

    "I'm sorry."

    "It's okay. I hope you know I haven't loved you any less since we've been distant. I've missed you more than anything," I told her.

    "Me too, Tay."

    We stared at each other, she gazed longingly at me with her beautiful coffee coloured eyes. Lottie loved coffee, she loved any kind of lattes, espressos, mochas, anything. She had her own place in the kitchen just full of things that she could make her coffee with. I was never a fan of coffee, except if I could, I would consume the colour of her eyes forever and it would be my absolute favourite.