Love, Blood and Wilderness | YELLOWJACKETS

Chapter 17

    The sun had risen had shone brightly through the attic window. For such shitty circumstances, it was a gorgeous day.

    I sat in the attic, laying in bed. I wouldn't say that I just woke up because I don't think that I slept. My head was pounding and my mouth was parched. I was feeling hungover and terrified at the same time, and the two weren't an ideal mix.

    Every time I closed my eyes, every time I blinked for a split second, I could see Lottie's face as she held the knife to my throat. Her face lacked the girl that I once knew, the girl I've been in love with for so long.

She wasn't there anymore. Etched into this face was a deleterious imposter.

But, with all said and done, Natalie was still secure against my backside, arms draped around my stomach, embracing me tightly in her sleep.

Her legs were curled up and intertwining with my own, and her nose was pressed to my back. She fit next to be like a matching puzzle piece and it felt exceedingly comforting. To have someone who fit so well next to me, who wanted to look out for me, even though I had shunned her away, was a level of solace I hadn't known in months, or rather what felt like a lifetime.

    I could feel her stir behind me and she hugged me even tighter as she woke up. She hummed.

    "You awake?" I whispered.

    "Mmm."

    I giggled.

    "I'm up, I'm up," she muttered, "are you alright? Did you sleep okay?"

    "Yeah, not bad" I lied, "how about you?"

    "Fine, actually. Hungover as shit though."

    "I thought you've done shrooms before."

    "Well yeah, but never on an empty stomach or when, like, my tolerance was fucking low."

    I decided to turn my body towards her. Her eyes were heavy with sleep and stained from her makeup, her hair was messy and her cheeks flushed.

But she was still pulchritudinous, an absolute sight for sore eyes.

"You sure you're okay?" Nat asked, "I know last night was... fucking crazy."

Lottie and Travis. Fucking Shauna Shipman. Shrooms. Knife to throat. Slow dancing in the attic. Yeah it was all fucking crazy.

"Yeah, I don't know, I guess I'm still processing it."

"Take all of the time you need," she kissed me, softly.

"Why are you still good to me even though I pushed you away?" I wondered.

She pondered that question for a few moments, calculating how she would answer.

"I'm used to pushing people away, it's just how, like, I function," she stated, "but... that night, in the closet during seven minutes in heaven, I dunno, I was going through a lot then. And you felt safe... and I couldn't let that go."

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

"Alright, Taylor. Spin!" Jackie insisted.

The noise inside of Lottie's house was deluged. I didn't want to have to go into that stupid closet with to anyone. I wasn't nearly drunk enough, and I also didn't want to be in there with anyone else but Lottie, who was looking at me with drunken compassion.

    Lottie took it upon herself to host the first party of the year before junior year started. I supported her initially, but now her house was loud, warm and inundate.