Infinite Chances

Longer Than I Imagined It

I was busy arranging the flowers that my helper brought in when I heard Genevieve talking to Auntie Mylene on the phone and she said, "Ma, huwag masyadong makulit ha? May sakit pa si Sis. Okay?"

I'm simply enjoying this day since my team is not here. I scheduled them to be in our location site. I needed some peace for today. I woke up early and tried preparing myself for my visitors' arrival. As Genevieve said yesterday, it's not going to be that easy for me, but I'm confident that she'll be here for me. A lot of ghosts from my past will be brought back to life and I know that the following days will be a big roller coaster ride for me.

I know my limits. I know I'll be able to get through whatever is in store for me. I've been through a lot and this simple reminiscing will be a piece of cake. And despite the fact that my visitors are the very people who would remind me of my dark yesterday, I know I'll manage to hang on until it lasts.

"Ma, I know you miss her. She said she misses you too. Pero 'wag niyo siyang papagurin masyado dahil baka sumama na naman ang pakiramdam niya. Okay? We'll be waiting for you here, Ma. The driver will bring you here. Don't worry. We've personally prepared everything for your arrival." -Genevieve. She was still on the phone with Auntie Mylene. Ewan ko ba. Pero parang habang lumalapit ang oras ng pagdadating nila, parang mas kinakabahan ako. Hanggang ngayon, hindi ko pa rin maisip kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanila.

Tiwala akong mababait sila. And I know for a fact that they love me so much. This is enough for me to be happy and be appreciative of the acceptance that they have given me ever since day one. But then again, this also scares me, knowing that they'll always be attached to me. And they'll forever hope na magkakabalikan kami ni Gabriel.

And since pupunta naman sila dito at alam ko naman na hindi pwedeng hindi namin pag-usapan ang current status namin ni Gabriel, sasabihin ko na rin sa kanila ang totoo. I'm going to take this opportunity to explain to them that me and Gabriel is an impossible mission. Hindi na kami pwedeng magkabalikan dahil magkakasakitan lang kami. Hindi na magiging maganda ang outcome kapag pinilit naming bumalik sa piling ng isa't-isa. A lot has changed already. I have changed. And that's enough reason kaya hindi ko gustong makilala niya ako ulit dahil alam kong madidismaya lang siya kapag nalaman niyang hindi na ako ang babaeng minahal niya dati. And besides, he's already engaged. Never kong pinangarap na maging 3rd wheel o maging kontrabida sa love story ng ibang tao.

I was in deep thought when i felt someone hugged me from the back and said, "Sis, the next two days will be the longest weekend you'll ever have, but don't worry too much. Sagot ko na sila Mama. They're controllable naman." -Genevieve.

"Okay lang 'yun noh. Ano ka ba? Sanay na'ko sa kanila noh. At tsaka tama naman sinabi mo eh. Miss ko na din sila ng bonggang-bongga kaya magiging masaya ang quick vacation nila dito. We'll make sure of that." -me. I tapped her arm that was around me.

"Sis, alam mo ba kung bakit mahal na mahal ka namin? At hanggang ngayon, ikaw at ikaw lang ang gusto namin para kay Kuya?" -Genevieve. She moved away and sat on the chair in front of me.

"Hindi ko din alam. Kasi magkaibigan sina Mama at Auntie? Dahil matagal na ninyo akong kilala?" -me. I was actually clueless up until now kung bakit nasa akin pa rin ang boto ng buong pamilya niya. Wala naman akong maalalang rason.

"Kasi sa lahat ng mga naging ka relasyon ni Kuya, ikaw lang ang nagsabing ubod ng suplado si Kuya. Lahat sila nagsasabing mabait daw si Kuya. That he's the best boyfriend ever. That he's a complete gentleman. That he's so kind and perfect. Kulang na lang sambahin nila si Kuya na parang Diyos. Eh utang na loob naman, hindi naman totoo 'yun. Alam natin 'yon noh. Lahat ng sinabi nila eh kabaligtaran ni Kuya. Kaya alam namin na hindi si Kuya ang mahal nila, kundi 'yung taong inaakala nilang si Kuya. That's the reason why we know na ikaw lang ang totoong nagmamahal kay Kuya noon kasi kahit ubod sa pagkagago ang kapatid ko, mahal mo pa rin siya. Minahal mo pa rin siya ng buong-buo." -Genevieve.